Attachments

One

In the 2nd reading of the Mass today Paul tells us “Nothing can come between us and the love of Christ.” From His side God will never let anything get in the way of loving us. The problem is that we let things come between us and God – our disordered attachments

The world, our fallen human nature and the Devil have convinced us that we cannot be happy without certain persons and certain things. Everywhere people have built their lives on the unquestioned belief that without certain things – health, professions, positions, spouse, kids, a certain way of life, a good reputation, —they cannot be happy. What is your particular combination? Once you swallowed your belief you naturally developed an attachment to this person or thing you were convinced you could not be happy without. Then came the efforts to acquire your precious thing or person, to cling to it once it was acquired, and to fight off every possibility of losing it. This finally led you to miserable emotional dependence so that the object of your attachment had the power to thrill you when you attained it, to make you anxious lest you be deprived of it and miserable when you lost it. Stop for a moment now and contemplate in horror the endless list of attachments that you have become a prisoner to. Think of concrete things and persons, not abstractions … 

Two

Once your attachment had you in its grip you began to strive might and main, every waking minute of your life, to rearrange the world around you so that you could attain and maintain the objects of your attachment. This is an exhausting task that leaves you little energy for the business of living and enjoying life fully. It is also an impossible task in an ever-changing world that you simply are not able to control. So instead of a life of serenity and fulfillment you are doomed to a life of frustration, anxiety, worry, insecurity, suspense, tension. For a few fleeting moments the world does, indeed, yield to your efforts and rearranges itself to suit your desires. Then you become briefly happy. Or rather, you experience a flash of pleasure which isn’t happiness at all for it is accompanied by the underlying fear that at any moment this world of things and people that you have so painstakingly put in place will slip out of your control and let you down—which it never fails to do sooner or later.

Three

And here is something else to ponder on: Each time you are anxious and afraid, it is because you may lose or fail to get the object of your attachment, isn’t it? And each time you feel jealous, isn’t it because someone may make off with what you are attached to? And almost all your anger comes from someone standing in the way of your attachment, doesn’t it? And see how paranoid you become when your attachment is threatened—you cannot think objectively; your whole vision becomes distorted, doesn’t it? And every time you feel bored, isn’t it because you are not getting a sufficient supply of what you believe will make you happy, of what you are attached to? And when you are depressed and miserable, the cause is there for all to see: Life is not giving you what you have convinced yourself you cannot be happy without.

Almost every negative emotion you experience is the direct outcome of an attachment. So there you are loaded down by your attachments—and striving desperately to attain happiness precisely by holding on to the load. The very notion is absurd. The tragedy is that this is the only method that everyone has been taught for attaining happiness—a method guaranteed to produce anxiety, disappointment and sorrow.

John of the Cross writes: It makes little difference whether a bird is tied by a thin thread or by a cord. Even if it is tied by thread, the bird will be held bound just as surely as if it were tied by cord; that is, it will be impeded from flying as long as it does not break the thread…This is the lot of those who are attached to something:

Four

Place your hope for happiness not in the things of this world but in love Jesus Christ

For as St Paul writes: Nothing therefore can come between us and the love of Christ, even if we are troubled or worried, or being persecuted, or lacking food or clothes, or being threatened or even attacked. As scripture promised: For your sake we are being massacred daily and reckoned as sheep for the slaughter. These are the trials through which we triumph, by the power of him who loved us. For I am certain of this: neither death nor life, no angel, no prince, nothing that exists, nothing still to come, not any power, or height or depth, nor any created thing, can ever come between us and the love of God made visible in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Five

Humans are a complicated creatures, we need many good things to be fulfilled and happy. The problems is that we are tempted to get our loves out of order and we become attached to the wrong things.

So we need a Hierarchy of good things - three levels of good:

1. Superficial natural goods:

   1. Protein and carbs, coffee and hockey

   2. The beauty of the human body,

   3. To be appreciated by others

2. Profound natural goods:

   1. Physical goods, nutrition, sleep, exercise, safety, security…

   2. psychological,

   3. friendship,

   4. knowledge,

   5. achievement,

   6. beauty

3. Divine Good – Union with God, sharing in His Life

We need all of these, but we must keep them in order.

• Love the lesser things less

• Love the greater things more

• Virtue is rightly ordered love