The Mentoring Session: “What do you want?”

PART I - General

Objective: Capture a Snapshot of the Mentee’s Interior/Spiritual Life to Identify a Particular Issue.

Begin with a General Sketch of their life (5 Questions)

  1. Ask - Could you paint me a picture of your life over the last month?

  2. Listen -

    a. Pay attention to what they are saying with an eye to the three major areas:

    1. Love of God: prayer and sacraments

    2. Love of neighbor: marriage, family, work, friends

    3. Love of self: physical, emotional, knowledge, beauty, etc.

    b. Listen for red flags - things that are disturbing their peace or ways they may be rationalizing or justifying sin and vice.

  3. Identify - Silently identify the possible particular subjects you may need to discuss.

  4. Paraphrase - Summarize to the mentee the particular subjects they brought up.

  5. Ask - “Which of these would be most helpful for us to focus on?”

PART II - Particular

Objective: Help Mentee to Form a Strategy to Resolve the Particular Issue. Addressing the Particular Issue.

The resolution of the mentoring session will be more completely embraced if it is one that involves their participation rather than simply being told what to think and do. Therefore, a series of questions may be helpful:

  1. What do you want?

  2. What is preventing you from reaching this desired state?

    a. Is that true?

    1. Is that a full picture of reality? (Lead mentee to be specific; they often exaggerate or offer vague responses.)

  3. What does God want?

  4. Brainstorm - what could you do to start taking steps toward the goal?

  5. What do you want to do about it? What could a strategy be?

  6. Can you anticipate what might go wrong and what you may have to do in that case? Can you add elements to your strategy as a safeguard?

  7. What can you add to this strategy so you enjoy it, desire, and look forward to it?

  8. Summarize the strategy the mentree has decided upon and then give them homework.

  9. Capture the resolution of this meeting and begin the next session with this.

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