Triangle of Self-Obsession | Rosary |

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When our expectations are not met, we often react with resentment, anger, and fear. These three make up the triangle of self-obsession which have more to do with our disordered expectations than reality itself. Many of our character defects are forms of these three reactions, which are dangerous enough in themselves, but have an even darker possible outcome as they can become deep seated habits or vices:

·       Resentment is the reliving of past experiences again and again in our minds. As an obsession it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as it convinces us our warped selfish perception is the right one.

·       Disordered Anger is our reaction to circumstances that don’t match our desires.  

·       Fear is often an emotional response to the unknown, to uncertainty and instability; it’s what we feel when we think  the future is out control.   

All three of these are expressions of selfish disorders that easily grow into obsessions. They are the way we react when people, places, and things (past, present, and future) do not live up to our demands.

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When the Apostle Peter found himself facing a whole lot of people on the day of Pentecost who harbored resentment, anger and fear, he proclaimed the Mercy of Jesus Christ to sinners. “Hearing this, they were cut to the heart and said to Peter and the apostles, 'What must we do, brothers?'

This is what many are asking as we begin 2021 – What must we do? Peter’s gives the only answer that can set us free from the triangle of self-obsession. He said: 'You must repent and every one of you must be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. The promise that was made is for you and your children, and for all those who are far away, for all those whom the Lord our God will call to himself.'…and he urged them, 'Save yourselves from this perverse generation'. Acts 2:37

Regret of the past and fear of the future usually creates anger in the now.  As long as we hold on and don’t take personal responsibility, we can never be set free. Peter gives the simple path to freedom: Repent and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.” Blaming others will never set us free – We must repent and go to the Sacrament of Confession, which is the 2nd baptism for those who fall into sin.

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It is only when we clear away the wreckage of our past – that we find freedom and peace. But we can only clear away the wreckage if we become aware of it, meaning to make a searching and fearless examination of conscience. Then admit to God in the sacrament of Reconciliation the exact nature of our wrongs and humbly ask God to remove all these character defects, because we are truly sorry not just for ourselves and those we have hurt, but mostly for offending God. We must firmly resolve to turn from our sins and live in a new way. This demands repairing any damage to others and making a strategy to grow in virtue. Finally, take a daily personal inventory, make a daily examination of conscience and when we sin – promptly admit it.  

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Without the help of God we cannot repent and be healed.

At the Last Supper in John 16:8 Jesus promised to send the Holy Spirit who would convince us of our sin and give us the grace to repent and reform. We do not have the desire or the power on our own to change. This is why Jesus offers us the Holy Spirit. Ask God the Father to increase the Holy Spirit within you to convict you concerning your sin, to take responsibility for it, go to confession and begin to practice the virtues that conquer your vices.

Jesus told us: “What father among you would hand his son a stone when he asked for bread? Or hand him a snake instead of a fish? Or hand him a scorpion if he asked for an egg? If you then, who are evil, know how to give your children what is good, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!'

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The angel announced to Joseph: "You shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins." But to receive his mercy, we must take responsibility and admit our faults and receive the Mercy of Jesus in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. If we do, then resentment is replaced with acceptance; anger is replaced with love; and fear is replaced with faith. Now we can live in the present in Gratitude and Magnanimity.