Good and Bad Fear

one

Different types of fear

In the book of Exodus, right after God gives the ten commandments, we read these very strange words: ‘Moses answered the people: “Do not fear, for God has come to you only to test you and put his fear upon you, lest you should sin.” ‘ (Exodus 20:20). Did you catch that? Moses literally says, “Do not fear, for God has come to put his fear upon you.”

It must be that there are different kinds of fear, one which God doesn’t want us to have and one which He does want for us.

It’s similar to how Scripture tells us both that fear of the Lord is the beginning of Wisdom, and that perfect love casts out all fear. Again, there’s a good fear and a bad fear.

So which is which?

two

What is fear?

Fear is the feeling, or the emotion, which prompts us to avoid some evil. When we perceive a threat, fear is what urges us to take measures to make sure that threat doesn’t actually become a reality. But since evil is really just the privation of some good thing, we can also express the nature of fear by saying that it’s the impulse to preserve some good thing, something we value, something we’re concerned is at risk of being lost.

So we only experience fear on account of what we value, what we love, what we feel is a good that we don’t want to lose.

Therefore, knowing our fears tells us what we love.

three

Ordering our fear

St. Augustine brilliantly said that virtue is nothing other than correctly ordered love.

That means prioritizing our loves, so that we care most about what’s objectively most important. Since fear is just an expression of love, we can say the same about fear

Virtue means having ordered fear. The goal isn’t fearlessness; the goal is to fear most the loss of what is most important.

So what do we fear most?

four

What do we fear most?

Since worry is just a kind of chronic fear, we can ask what we worry about the most?

The truth is, the things we spend most of our time worrying about are simply not the most important things.

We worry about our grades in school, or our kids’ grades in school. We worry about whether we will make the team or our kids will make the team. We worry about whatever board meeting or deadline at work is looming up – even though it’ll be forgotten as soon as it’s over. We worry about our finances, or our health – even though we know sooner or later we’ll be dead anyway, at which point money and health is not going to be an issue.

But what about the things we should worry about? Do we worry that we’re really setting a good example for our kids – that we show them every day that we delight in them – and that we’re helping them learn and live the faith?

Do we worry about certain vices which are getting deeper into our hearts, taking us further and further from the life and love of Christ?

Do we worry about being generous enough with our giving to the Church and the poor so that when Christ comes, He’ll put us with the sheep instead of the goats?

Do we worry that time is running out, and we only have so many opportunities left to make the most of the one life God has given us in which to serve Him and take care of those who need us?

Those are goods, these are opportunities that we should be afraid of missing. These are things we don’t want to lose.

five

Fear and the Lord

Now, applying all this, how should we fear God?

Too often in our dealings with God, our main fear is that He’ll take away some earthly, transitory thing we love.

We say, Dear God, please don’t take away my health, or my job, or my kid’s chance at success. But remember, God only takes away lesser things so He can give us greater things. We can pray for God to allow us to acquire or keep certain goods, but we really shouldn’t spend a lot of time fearing their loss – since we know greater goods are on the way.

The one good we should really fear the loss of is God Himself. We shouldn’t be constantly saying, “Dear Lord, don’t let me lose this thing” – we should be saying, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me lose You.” That fear is the beginning of wisdom. That fear expresses rightly ordered love.

And it’s precisely that fear – the holy fear of the Lord – which will ensure that we will never lose what we love. For if we love God, we may be sure we will have Him forever.