GOD'S PLAN FOR SEXUALITY
ONE
Genesis chapter one tells us “God created man in the image of himself, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them.”
This means that in the complementarity of sexes man and woman are made to live like God who is love. So if we want to understand the love of man and woman then we need to understand the love of God.
1 John chapter 4 tells us, “God is love.” What does this mean? In the Trinity God the Father gives a total gift of Himself infinitely and eternally. This gift begets the Son. Since the Father holds nothing back in His giving, the Son becomes all that the Father is, God from God, Light from Light, True God from true God. The Son receives the gift of the Father and responds with a total gift of Himself back to the Father. And the love between the Father and the Son is so real that this mutual gift of self is another Person, the Third Person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit.
The love of God is a free and total gift of self; that gift results in a permanent union of the divine persons; from which another divine person springs forth.
The opposite of love is not hate, it is use. No one can find happiness by using another person or being used. In fact, we are all sick of it.
If we want to be happy, then we need to strive to make our human, marital and sexual love imitate the love of God.
TWO
The Catechism (#1604) teaches us God created Marriage and Family to be a reflection, an Icon of His love
The meaning of Marriage and Family and marital intercourse is not based on a definition created by the government nor by one’s sexual preferences. The meaning of Marriage and Family is determined by Who God is. God designed marriage and family to be a living reflection of Himself, an Image of His Everlasting Love. This means that when we say the words "I love you," in a romantic way, if we want those words to reflect God’s love then we must mean:
A. I want to give a free and total gift of myself to you
B. To form a permanent indissoluble union with you
C. A union that is ordered to the new life of children
These three intentions reflect the love of the Trinity. And these three intentions are expressed during the marriage ceremony. The priest asks the couple:
A. Have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in Marriage?
B. Will you love and honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?
C. Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?
Do you see how the love of the Trinity is expressed in the wedding vows? That is because Marriage is designed to reflect the inner life of the Trinity.
THREE
St. John Paul II taught the God given meaning of marital intercourse in a series we call the Theology of the Body
There he explained that God designed sex to be the "body language" that expresses the love of the Trinity. To have marital intercourse is to speak the language of God’s love with our bodies.
In marital relations we are saying with our bodies: I am giving a free and total gift of myself to you, I am giving a permanent indissoluble gift of self, and this gift if ordered to new life.
To say anything less or different with our bodies in the act of intercourse is a lie, and it is not love, it is use, because it would not reflect the love of God.
The only way we can honestly express through our body what the sexual act means, is within marriage.
FOUR
Can we know what is right and wrong when it comes to Marriage, sex and the nature of the family? YES!
Since God created marriage and marital intercourse to express His love, then all the moral questions surrounding love, marriage and sex are answered based on who God is. God is a free and total gift of self; a permanent and indissoluble gift of self; and a gift of self that is ordered to new life.
Therefore, if marriage and marital intercourse are to reflect the love of God; then they must be a free and total gift of self – because that is how God loves.
Marriage and marital intercourse must express a permanent indissoluble union of the persons - since this is the way God loves.
Marriage, as well as each and every act of intercourse, must be ordered to new life - since when God gives, it is directed to new life.
Therefore, all marital and sexual morality comes down to this question: Does this thought or action reflect God's Love?
In other words, is it a free and total gift of self? Does it express the permanent, exclusive union of the spouses? And is it a gift of self, ordered to new life?
FIVE
Since the love of God is a free and total gift of self; that forms a permanent, exclusive union of persons; and it is a gift of self ordered to new life…
Then it is easy to see that: fornication, adultery and masturbation are not a total gift of self to another person that expresses a permanent indissoluble union. Therefore, these do not reflect God’s love. And the opposite of love is use.
Divorce does not reflect a permanent unbreakable union therefore it does not mirror God’s love. That is why divorce is a grave offense against the love of God.
Contraception is not a total gift of self, since one’s fertility is held back. Because it is not a total gift, therefore it is not unitive and it is not ordered to new life. Thus, contraception does not echo God’s love.
Furthermore, direct sterilization, in-vitro fertilization, artificial insemination and same sex unions do not imitate the love of the Trinity.
Jesus and the Church condemn all of these actions precisely because they fail to give enough, they are not loving enough, they all fall short of the love of God. The opposite of love is use. And we will never reach the happiness we long for by using and discarding one another. But to love like God, now that is what truly satisfies!
You can find all of this in the Catechism in paragraphs 2351-2400.