Why wait for marriage to live together?

A lot of it depends on where the couple is in terms of their own formation. Even if they have little or no connection to the Church, they certainly want their marriage to be “successful.” And in that regard, it doesn’t take much research to find unambiguous statistics pointing to the fact that couples that do not cohabitate before marriage are more likely to stay together and have a “happier” marriage. I would think that information would drive the couple to consider waiting and hopefully to explore and make their own the Church’s wisdom in this area, which really values the good of the person and the universal desire to be loved, not selfishly used.

Marriage is a lifelong covenant that creates family bonds. It commits the couple for the whole of their life. Living as a married couple without that covenant/commitment is fundamentally dishonest.

The USCCB and various dioceses and organizations have put out wonderful tracts and information on all this. I tend to think that a particularly helpful approach is to acquaint the couple in some fashion with JPII’s “theology of the body” to help them get the “big picture” and understand the cohabitation issue and other hot button issues within a larger, beautiful context. JPII’s remarkable pre-papacy book Love and Responsibility is a precursor to his formal TOB teaching, and the Theology of the Body Institute (Christopher West) and others offer wonderful resources including retreats and seminars that have changed many lives.

Courtesy of Leon Suprenant