This is Not What I Had Planned

One

This is not what I had planned!

Imagine what the Apostles experienced. Jesus calmed the storm at sea simply by the command of His word. He healed the sick, raised people from the dead, multiplied bread, transformed water into wine, and even had power over demons. But then everything seemed to fall apart! He is suddenly in bitter agony in the Garden of Gethsemane, I mean, He sweats blood He is under so much duress. Then He is arrested and placed on trial for blasphemy and condemned to death. Pilate has Him scourged, crowned with thorns, and crucified. And then He was dead. Dead! 

This was not the way things were supposed to work out. It caused the Apostle to lose their minds, to lose their trust and do all kinds of stupid and sinful things. Peter lashed out in anger, cutting off the ear of the High Priest’s servant. Judas sells Jesus for a few bucks. All the Apostles forsook Jesus and fled. 

And I am no different. Things don’t work the way I planned, the way I expect them. People don’t do what I expect them to, my projects don’t work the way I expect, my health does not work the way I want. Things just don’t work the way they are supposed to, and everything seems to be out of control and it causes me to lose my mind, lose my trust, and do all kinds of stupid and sinful things. 

Two

The Need for Control 

When things feel like they are out of control the natural tendency is for us to exert even more control. We know we should be responsible and when things don’t go as planned we think that if we were just more responsible and managed things more closely we could have everything under control next time. The temptation is to become hyper-vigilant. Hypervigilance is the overreaction and overcorrection to things that are beyond our control. And it makes things worse.

Constant hypervigilance leads to chronic stress and anxiety. This heightened state of alertness keeps the body in a fight-or-flight mode, which can result in all kinds of health problems. The relentless mental and emotional strain can result in sleep disturbance, exhaustion, and burnout. It reduces your ability to think clearly and make good decisions. Hypervigilance often leads to increased irritability, frustration, and a negative outlook. This emotional strain can make it difficult to enjoy life. Hypervigilance can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts in relationships. The person may become overly controlling, critical, or suspicious, which can strain interactions with family, friends, and colleagues.

The need to always be on guard can cause us to withdraw from social interactions and isolate ourselves. This isolation can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and depression.

Ultimately, hypervigilance stems from a lack of trust in God.

Three

Jesus, I Trust in You

When we feel like life is out of control, what should we do?

Slow down, think, do what you can, and be responsible. Often, procrastination and avoidance of responsibilities or conflict is the real problem.

Everything that is beyond your control belongs in the realm of God’s responsibility. Don’t try to do the things in that realm. For everything that is beyond your control, let go and let God do what He wants. That is what we mean by surrender. Surrender does not mean to give up and quit and be irresponsible (all you hyper-control people need this disclaimer). Surrender means staying in your lane. You do what is in your power. Let God take care of everything beyond your limited power.

Trust in Providence. Nothing can happen except what God wills or allows. And God works all things for your good. So if you are experiencing something you don’t like and you have already done your part, then trust that God is working His plan for your good and be at peace. This is where we say over and over, “Jesus, I trust in You.”

Four

Live in the Present Moment

I am jealous of my dog. She does not think of the past nor does she worry about the future. She lives in the present moment. 

We on the other hand, make everything more fearful and more painful because when things don’t go as planned or when we face some suffering we think, “What if this never ends?” or, “What if this gets worse? I can’t deal with that!” Then the weight of the future piles up and crushes us.

But the fact is, no matter what we are experiencing in the present moment, we can handle and it won’t hurt us or kill us. How do I know? Because you just lived through that moment…there you just did it again. We can handle the moment, or even the day. It is the weight of the entire future that overwhelms us.

That is why Jesus said, “Do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Learn to live in the present moment, trusting that God will take care of the future. 

Five

The Road to Emmaus – God had a Plan 

All the disciples panicked and did stupid stuff. Then, as two of them were walking home in despair, Jesus joined them and explained to them that everything He went through and everything the disciples experienced was all part of God’s great plan to save the world and open the gates of Heaven. 

Then their minds were opened, they could see the big picture, and I bet they thought, “Wow! We were so stupid not to trust in God! He was working his plan the whole time.”

Yep. God has a plan and He is working His plan for you all the time. That is what Providence means. No matter what you are going through, it has been part of His plan for all of eternity. No matter what you are suffering or facing and you can’t understand it, know for certain that God understands it. It is not a mystery to Him. And it doesn’t matter what you are experiencing, it doesn’t matter how bad it looks and feels, God will work it for your greatest good and the greatest good of your loved ones. 

That is what the Disciples experienced on Easter Sunday. We can live in that reality every day. We just need to practice surrendering everything beyond our control, trusting in Providence, and living in the Present moment.