Thinking and Acting Changes Desires
one
The real problem about being a Christian is that I usually know what I should do, but I just don’t want to do it. I don’t feel like doing what is right and I really feel like doing what is wrong. That is all fine and well until I do the wrong thing and turn my life into a dumpster fire. Yet we do not have to live this way. We can be transformed. Jesus and Mary have offered to come and live in us and through if we want them to. They want to transform us from the inside out. All we need to do is cooperate with them as they help us to become virtuous.
Virtue manages to take all our twisted desires and reorganizes them. It directs the feelings in an integrated manner to prompt us towards what is truly beneficial for us and away from what’s bad. When you have virtue, you “feel like” doing good and avoiding evil. Those with virtue wouldn’t even enjoy sin, and they greatly desire the good. So basically, once you acquire virtue, doing what you’re supposed to becomes second nature. A virtue enables you to do the good quickly, easily, and joyfully. And doing the good is what makes you happy.
two
To grow in virtue and be transformed we need first to understand how God designed our soul to work.
There are three powers of the Soul: Intellect, Feelings and the Free-will. These three are supposed to work this way:
1. The intellect perceives (becomes aware of) reality
a. through the five senses, the imagination or the memory
b. and presents it to the feelings as “Hey, this is right and good for me” or “Hey, this is wrong and bad for me."
2. Then the feelings respond to what the Intellect presented with, “I like this,” prompting the will to choose it; or “I dislike that,” prompting the will to avoid it.
3. The will chooses the apparent good; avoids the evil
But with Original Sin our soul is out of whack. We don’t exercise our intellect. It takes a lot of effort to exercise the intellect and think. It is easier to feel. So we let the intellect go to sleep and let our feelings decide what we do. We let feelings rule our life. We are ruled by likes and dislikes. That might be ok except for the fact that I like what is bad and dislike what is good for me.
Thinking should inform our feelings which prompt our choices. Thinking should rule our lives, not feeling. The feelings are meant to be good servants but bad masters.
three
We can change our feelings and desires and the first step is to go to God and not go it alone.
At the Last Supper Jesus looked across the table at the Apostles and said to them: Apart from me you can do nothing. The plan was never to transform ourselves. We can’t! We can’t do it alone. We are incapable. Jesus wants to live in our soul and do it for us. He wants to live through us if we would only let him. We can begin to allow Jesus to live through us first by spending time with him in friendship – which is prayer – talking to him, listening to him by reading and reflecting on his teachings and just being with Him in silence and solitude. Either we spend time with Jesus in prayer so that he can live through us or we are choosing to go it alone.
four
We can change the way we feel by how we think. If we Mentally focus on the pleasing aspects of what’s good and the displeasing aspects of what’s bad our desires will change. By thinking, imagining, visualizing or anticipating some good thing we actually cause the right feeling, prompting the right action because we desire what looks good to us.
Let’s say, for instance, you really dislike someone. Your bad feelings for him are making it really hard. Begin with your thinking. Think and talk about his good points, his virtues, and maybe especially the gifts he has that you don’t. If you think and talk about the person in those terms long enough, you’ll be constantly reminded of how much there is to appreciate about this person, and you’ll actually begin to appreciate him and it’ll be easier to treat him charitably.
Again, you should use this strategy to avoid evil. Say you want to gossip about someone – you can picture in your head how awkward it’ll be if what you’ve been saying gets back to that person. Or you can use St. James’ image, about how a small flame – gossip – can burn down a whole forest of good. Whatever image works to help you realize how deadly gossip is, use that, focus on that, picture that. And eventually your desire to gossip will fade.
five
We can change the way we feel by how we act
Chose to do the right action even if you don’t feel like it. If you do the right thing, over and over, eventually you begin to like it – it becomes pleasing to the emotions and then we have a good habit.
Most people don’t start out liking exercise, but if they keep at it they begin to look forward to their morning run. People usually don’t start out enjoying prayer, but if they pray anyway, day after day, they get to the point where they can’t do without it. The same goes for abstaining from bad behavior you’re inclined to: if you have a bad temper, you’ll want to say horrible things when you get angry. But if you resist the urge to lash out and choose to hold your tongue, the anger will fade and the desire to be undisturbed by others will grow.
If you resist the wrong feelings and do the right actions long enough, the bad desires will fade and the right desires will grow – prompting you to the right actions.