The Stories We Tell Ourselves
One
Sermon on the Mount – The Stories We Tell Ourselves
After the Wedding of Cana and before Jesus goes back up to Jerusalem for the Feast of Passover, that is probably the time when he delivers his most famous teaching, the Sermon on the Mount. In that great teaching, Jesus warns us against the destructive nature of lying when he states, “All you need say is "Yes" if you mean yes, "No" if you mean no; anything more than this comes from the evil one.”
Jesus is teaching us to have a radical commitment to the truth. But what is Truth?
Truth is the conformity of our thinking and behavior to reality. St. Thomas Aquinas says we can’t do anything evil without first creating some false story to justify it.
Jesus wants us to live according to reality and not some false narrative because God is the ultimate reality and we reach him by living in truth, that is, conforming ourselves to reality.
Two
The Catechism teaches that to lie is to speak or act against the truth to lead into error someone who has the right to know the truth. CCC 2483
We are untruthful, and for really stupid reasons.
We lie to avoid taking responsibility for things. We lie to make ourselves look good. We exaggerate or embellish the truth to make ourselves look more clever or intelligent. We lie to get out of embarrassing situations. We stretch the truth so that we can get what we want.
Or have you ever noticed that, when we tell a third party about some conflict or disagreement we’ve had with someone else, we always tell it in such a way as to put ourselves in the best light? That’s because whoever controls the narrative has power over others. So we distort the narrative. We don’t tell the whole truth. We lie.
We skew reality all the time to get what we want and we do so for really bad reasons.
Three
It is a lie to speak or act against the truth and lead someone into error.
The biggest problem is that we lie to ourselves. We tell ourselves stories that are not true, they are not reality. Those false narratives mislead us to justify some sinful or self-destructive behavior.
What are the lies we tell ourselves?
The foundational lie we tell ourselves is that our identity and personal worth are based on some achievement or relationship. Pride, the beginning of all sin is all the ways we try to validate our existence, prove our worth, and find our identity apart from God.
When you think of your identity, what do you associate it with most? Your profession, some accomplishment or attribute, or some relationship - that you are a parent or grandparent? Deep down we tell ourselves the lie that if we fail or our kids fail, then we are worthless, we have no identity and no value. Then no one will care about us, we will be in want and worst of all, we will be left all alone. So basically, if we fail, then we will die.
Four
There are other lies we tell ourselves.
We also say, “I can’t be happy with this spouse. I could be happy if they would change. I could be happy if I were married to someone else. I need a new job or a new house or a vacation house to be happy. I need to travel and have new experiences to be fulfilled. My situation is hopeless. There is nothing I can do. If this or that happens, everyone will think less of me.”
That is not true. It is not reality.
No one is thinking about you. Everyone is too busy thinking about themselves. So why be paralyzed by an unreality, a non-truth? In fact, none of this is true.
What are the lies you tell yourself?
Five
Jesus told us, “Satan was a murderer from the start. He was never grounded in the truth. There is no truth in him at all. When he lies he is drawing on his own store because he is a liar and the father of lies.”
Satan lies to us. He tempts us with the promise that sin will make us happy. But sin will always take from us more than it will give – until it strips you of everything and leaves you with nothing. God is the only One who can give you what you need, your identity and worth and every good thing imaginable – and more. God is the only one who just gives and gives and gives and you receive and receive and receive!
God doesn’t need anything. Oh, he asks us to give ourselves to him, but that really means is to let go of everything that can’t satisfy, drop all the stuff you’re holding on to, go to Him with empty hands, and make yourself a capacity to receive.
Jesus said, “If you make yourself a capacity, then I will make myself a torrent.” And the Book of Psalms (35:9) tells us that those who give themselves totally to God, well, “They shall be inebriated with the richness of Thy house; and You will make them drink of the torrent of thy pleasure.”
The lie we tell ourselves is that we need everything but God to be happy. The truth is that He is the only one who gives more than he takes. So give yourself to God by going to Mass and offering yourself totally to him. Give yourself to him by prayer. Give yourself to him by fulfilling the moral law which is just your design for happiness. Give yourself to him by doing good for your spouse and kids and grandkids. Give yourself to him by doing good for your friends and colleagues and the people you serve and give yourself to him by doing good for your enemies.
In return, you will receive everything – that is the truth!