The Sin of Despair

one

The refusal to persevere

As we’ve said, Hope is the virtue that causes us to continue striving for transforming union with Jesus and heaven as our destiny, but a destiny that’s not guaranteed.

This means that there are two sins against hope. One is presumption, where we don’t bother striving for heaven because we think it’s already in the bag. The other sin against hope is despair.

Despair is a choice, not a feeling.

We all feel down sometimes. We all feel discouraged and daunted. We all feel tempted to give up.

That’s not the sin of despair. That’s the feeling of despair. That’s a temptation, but temptation isn’t a sin. The saints have been tempted with desolation and discouragement but they didn’t despair because they didn’t give in or give up.

Feeling down isn’t a mark of despair anymore than feeling upbeat is a sign of hope. After all, some people experience a dreadful relief and a hideous cheerfulness when they’ve resolved to commit suicide. That kind of upbeat giddiness can be just the exuberance of someone who’s let go of the rope and is feeling the rush of falling to their own destruction.

No, hope and despair can’t be measured by how you feel. The only question is, have you given up trying to be holy, to be a saint? Have you given up striving for heaven? If not, you still have hope. But if you do, you’re in the spiraling free-fall of despair.

two

Aquinas says the first cause of despair is feeling downcast about oneself

Holiness, virtue, just basic human decency, these are really hard ideals, and if we’re honest with ourselves, we know we’re an awfully long way from reaching these.

In fact, if all we look at is ourselves, then of course we’ll despair. We’ll think, “Look at me. This is all I am, this is all I’ll ever be. What’s the point in trying to change?”

But that’s why, even though it’s good to do a daily examination of conscience, our faith is always supposed to be more focused on Jesus than on ourselves.

The blind and the lame and the lepers in the Gospels didn’t get healed just by looking at themselves. They became healed by looking at Jesus, and reaching out to Him, calling to Him, touching Him.

Yes, it will take a miracle to make saints out of us. Yes, it will take a miracle for God to undo all the damage caused by our sins.

But Jesus can do miracles! So call out to Him, stay close to Him, and most importantly, stay focused on Him, and you won’t despair.

three

Aquinas says the second cause of despair is attachment to worldly pleasures, especially lust

God is immaterial, pure, otherworldly, spiritual, and pure love.

How can you desire that, how can you actively pursue that kind of a God when you’re completely immersed in worldly, physical, disordered, selfish images and desires?

God doesn’t abandon us when we give ourselves over to sexual sin but we’re very likely to abandon God.

If you’ve filled your head and your heart and your desires with stuff that has nothing godly about it, what will motivate you to keep pursuing God?

Being committed to hope means being committed to the struggle for purity and removing everything from our life that can lead to lust.

Jesus said, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off.” Addiction is largely environmental. If you remove from your environment what you are addicted to, you will be a lot less likely to do it. This is the age old wisdom of removing the near occasion of sin.

Are we serious about removing the sources of temptation from our life?

four

Despair and atheism

It’s worth noting that most people become atheists in their teenage years.

That means that most people lose their faith before they’ve had a chance to really become educated about the philosophical or scientific arguments for or against God. They may become scientists or philosophers later on, but they didn’t become atheists because they were scientists or philosophers

In other words, whatever they say, most atheists haven’t become atheists for intellectual reasons. They’re just teenagers when they abandon their faith. But why?

Well, if despair is the result of feeling badly about yourself or lust, then it all kind of makes sense, doesn’t it?

When do people struggle more with lust, or with poor self-esteem, than in their teenage years?

The point is, if we want to counter atheism, the despair of our day, it’s not enough to give people intellectual arguments. We have to give them hope – Hope based on the fact that Jesus knows them and loves them unconditionally and He has promised to help them.

But how will they know this? Certainly not by lecturing to them.

five

Hope based on the fact that Jesus knows and loves us unconditionally and He has promised to help us.

How will the people in our life know this? They will know it if two things happen:

1.  First, if we take the time to really know, understand, love and care for them. (Parents tell their kids lots of things and provide lots of things, but many parents don’t know their kids and their kids don’t experience being known. Get to know your kids.)

2.  Second, give them an experience of deep prayer, of meditation and Eucharistic Adoration. In the Rosary and in the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist where we meet the God who is real, who died for us, who knows, loves, understands and accepts us unconditionally.

At the end of the day, you can’t guarantee that your kids will be Catholic. You can’t guarantee that your actions will convert someone. They always have free will. But if they can be converted, it won’t be through arguments.

Only Knowing and loving them, combined with an experience of God in prayer, will lead them towards conversion. That kind of hope will counteract the plague of despair. That kind of hope will help people not to give up.