The Discernment of Joseph
One
Discernment Freeze
It’s a common occurrence for us to be unable to make a decision. We just can’t seem to commit to a course of action. Sometimes this is called paralysis by analysis, meaning, we can’t make up our minds. It’s a kind of procrastination, beating around the bush, saying, “I can keep putting off the big choices. I just don’t know what God’s calling me to.” This is a really dangerous problem to have.
You can’t become excellent, you can’t create anything of value, and you certainly can’t serve others in love if you can’t commit.
So why aren’t people able to settle on a course of action? Why can’t they make decisions? Why can’t they commit to a vocation?
Two
No Certainty in Prudential Matters
The real reason people are unwilling to choose, unwilling to commit, is because they’re afraid. They’re afraid of choosing wrongly.
They figure, “I only have one life. If I screw up my big decisions, if I choose the wrong major, or the wrong career path, or the wrong vocation, then I’ll be stuck living a second-rate life. So I’d better not make a decision until I’m certain it’s the right one.”
The problem with that line of thinking is that you can’t have certainty in prudential decisions. You can know with certainty what not to do (for example, you should never murder anybody, and you should never blaspheme), but you can’t know with certainty what you should do in any given situation. That’s because, in any given situation, there are always countless factors to consider. And so when making a practical decision, you can never be sure that you’re not missing a crucial element.
But if you can’t have certainty in your choices and commitments, how can you be sure you’re not screwing everything up?
Three
Trust in God
The only solution is to trust that God, who does know all the crucial factors in any situation, will be able to guide you and even draw good out of your imperfect choices. That doesn’t mean that God is going to give you explicit directions on what to do. God gave us the capacity for prudent decision-making, and He wants us to use it, and to take responsibility for our own decisions. He wants us to consider, decide, and follow through.
So don’t sit around waiting for some kind of mystical private revelation telling you what to do. You need to take responsibility, make a decision, and then trust that your Father who loves you will guide you in right paths.
That’s exactly what happened to St. Joseph, the greatest saint next to Our Lady herself.
Four
St. Joseph
There was a man named Joseph and God had a plan for him. God’s plan was to adopt the entire human race as His children. Men were to be adopted by God. But before that, God wished to be adopted by a man. And that man was St. Joseph. But God didn’t tell Joseph that plan. God usually doesn’t tell us what His plan for us is, so don’t expect Him to.
When Joseph found out that his betrothed was pregnant, he had to come to a decision as best he could with the information available. Joseph was a just man. He did his best to make a prudential decision. And he decided wrongly. He decided to divorce Mary quietly.
So what does God do? Does God say, “Well Joseph, I had this great vocation lined up for you. You were going to be the foster father of the Son of God and the husband of the Queen of the Universe. But since you discerned wrongly, forget it. Now you’ll just have to settle for a second-rate life.”
Of course not! God wants us to use our faculties as best we can, but then He supplements for our limited judgment. He doesn’t leave Joseph to his own devices, He sends an angel to steer him back on the right path.
Don’t be afraid of discerning wrongly, of judging imperfectly. As long as you’re trying to do the right thing, and as long as you’re not avoiding commitment, the Lord will direct you the way He wants you to go.
Five
Trust and Responsibility
There are two great principles that we learn from the discernment of St. Joseph: The first is that God loves you and has a plan for you. God is going to help you fulfill that plan. God is going to guide you and watch over you and do whatever He can to help you realize an astonishing and unforeseeably magnificent destiny. So you can trust Him with your life.
The second principle is that God wants us to take responsibility for our own lives. God doesn’t send His angel to guide Joseph until Joseph has done his best to make a decision based on his own prudential abilities. So you can’t shrug of responsibility on God. This is your life, you have to pray, deliberate, consider, and then make a decision about how you are going to give glory by trying to do something worthwhile.
And whether it’s a decision about whom to marry, what job to pursue, what parenting decisions to make, or where to invest your money, remember: You’re never going to be certain that you’re making the best possible decision. But you do have the best possible God watching over you. If you entrust yourself and your decision making to Him, He will draw good from whatever poor efforts we put into trying to serve Him as prudently as we can.