Stopping the Insanity
One
Stopping the Insanity
I recently spoke with a young woman who is a CPA. She is single, works seven days a week, often from 7 a.m. until 7 p.m., eats, watches Netflix, and then does more work because she can’t sleep. My heart ached for her because she has no idea what the real purpose of life is nor what she needs for true happiness and therefore, no way to organize her life.
So, let me ask you, what do you think you need to be happy?
Two
When I ask people, “What do you want to be happy?”, everyone comes up with six things.
They want a good relationship with God, receiving the life of Jesus through frequent reception of the Eucharist, Reconciliation, and daily mental prayer.
They want good physical and emotional health (that comes from sleep, nutrition and hydration, exercise, hygiene, shelter, and clothing).
Good Relationships with family and friends.
Meaningful work in which we do some good for others and for the world
Knowledge
Beauty
(Money, time, and power are not goods, just means to the good things we need)
We need a way to organize our lives in order to reach happiness and holiness.
St. Pachomius, St. Basil, and St. Benedict suggest to us a rule, a strategy, a structure, a recipe. A rule of life is a schedule, a strategy, a recipe, whatever you want to call it, to live a well-ordered and balanced life and be at peace.
It’s like baking, not cooking. We need the right ingredients, the right order, and the right proportion.
Three
An example of a recipe of life
Physical and emotional needs
Sleep 6-8 hrs/day
Personal hygiene, 30 min to an hour each day
Eat 2 hrs/day
Exercise 30 min 3-5 days/week plus the commute to gym if necessary
All of that equals eleven hours
Friendship with Christ
30 min/day in Meditation/Rosary
Frequent the Eucharist and Reconciliation, 1-2 hours
Time for Friendship with your spouse, kids, friends, 1-2 hours
Meaningful work in the home or outside of it
1 hour for your commute
9 hours of work
Knowledge - About God and the good world he created
Experience beauty in its many forms
That’s about 24 hours.
C.S. Lewis said, “put first things first and we get the second things thrown in; put second things first and we lose both first and second things.”
Be creative in combining two or more of these at one time, like walking and talking with a spouse or friend at sunset which checks the boxes of friendship, exercise and beauty all at once.
Four
A big question is how will we spend our leisure time, the time when we are not praying, working, or taking care of physical needs.
Remember this, your soul is comprised of an intellect, emotions, and the will.
The intellect needs to be nourished by reality in the form of truth. Curiosity is a good desire to know the truth that concerns your life. But curiositas is the vice of investigating what does not concern you. It takes you down a rabbit hole and distracts you from the good things you need to know.
We need a daily diet of the truth about God, ourselves, and the things of the world that directly concern our responsibilities. However, we must avoid the counterfeit of being “well informed” by the news or social media or analysts and bloggers. You can’t get to the truth this way. Even if you could, it would be about passing truths about other people or events and not eternal truth.
Your emotions need to be fed by reality in the form of beauty. Entertainment is the counterfeit of beauty. It’s junk food.
How can we tell the difference between beauty and entertainment? Ask yourself, do the things you watch, listen to, or read cause you to desire what is good and hate what is sinful or evil? Does it cause you to desire a life of virtue, to be a better person, and to seek God more and more? Or are you using entertainment because you are exhausted? Are you using it as an escape from the reality you find overwhelming, boring, or too painful? Or worse – are you indulging in sinful pleasures?
Five
Now that you know what you want to be happy, what are you going to do about it?
Reflect on your life currently. Do you have the right ingredients in your life? Do you have too much of some? Maybe too much work? Or do you have too little of others? Too little of prayer or time in relationship with your spouse or kids or friends? Do you have some wrong ingredients that are harmful? Are you spending your leisure time feeding your intellect and emotions with junk, or with sinful evil things?
The first step is to create your own rule or recipe of life and then share it with the people you live with so that they don’t inadvertently work against you.
I think its important to start with sleep – without that, even God doesn’t like me and it makes everything hard. Then, prayer. After that, get rid of the stuff that doesn’t belong and start adding the good things you really want to be happy.
Now don’t try to change everything in your life at once. Start with one or two things and that will begin to get everything else in order.