St. Maria Goretti
One
Today is the feast of St. Maria Goretti
Born in 1890, her father died from malaria when she was just nine years old. Two years later, in 1902, eleven-year-old Maria was sitting on the outside steps of her home, sewing and watching her younger sister Teresa while her mother worked in the nearby fields. At the same time, twenty-year-old Alessandro Serenelli was threshing beans in the barnyard nearby. Knowing she would be alone, he returned to the house and made sexual advances toward Maria which she rejected. Alessandro threatened to stab her if she did not give in. But she would not, protesting that what he wanted to do was a mortal sin and warning him that he would go to Hell. She fought desperately and kept screaming, "No! It is a sin! God does not want it!" Alessandro stabbed her fourteen times before running away.
Alerted by the noise, her mother rushed from the field and found Maria bleeding and took her to the nearest hospital, but her injuries were too severe. The following day, 24 hours after the attack, having expressed forgiveness for Alessandro and stating that she wanted to have him in Heaven with her, she died of her injuries.
This young woman, not yet twelve years old had great power, the power to resist evil, even at the price of her life.
Two
Allesandro was arrested and sentenced to thirty years in prison where he was so unrepentant and violent that he spent most of it in solitary confinement.
However, one night, six years into his prison sentence, Maria appeared to Alessandro. He saw her in a garden picking fourteen white lilies, one for every stab wound, then handing them to him one by one. This gesture of forgiveness, this act of love, broke open the hardened heart of Alessandro. He immediately became contrite for what he had done. He begged for a priest and made a complete confession.
After this miraculous encounter, Alessandro changed dramatically. He lived out the rest of his prison sentence in humble contrition.
Upon his release, Alessandro visited Assunta, Maria’s mother, and begged her forgiveness. She forgave him, and they attended Mass together the next day, receiving Holy Communion side by side. Assunta even went so far as to accept Allesandro as her own son since he had no family on earth. Soon after, Alessandro entered the Franciscans and lived out the rest of his life in prayer, penance, and humble work.
Maria was canonized on June 24th, 1950 by Pope Pius XII. Her mother, four of her siblings, and her repentant murderer, Alessandro were present with 500,000 people, among them a majority of youth, who had come from around the world.
Pope Pius asked them, "Young people, delight of the eyes of Jesus, are you determined to resist any attack on your chastity with the help of the grace of God?" A resounding "yes" was the answer.
Three
St. Maria Goretti has a message for both women and men.
God endowed men with greater physical strength to protect women and their children. However, women possess a different kind of strength—a unique moral fortitude that protects men. Women have the powerful ability to say "Yes" and "No."
A woman's deepest desire is for a man to recognize her worth, cherish, and love her. Conversely, a man's strongest longing is for a woman. He will strive to meet her standards because God designed a woman to be a precious treasure, deserving of a man who honors her dignity and greatness.
While a man might feel aroused by a prostitute, he knows she won't inspire him to be his best self. What he truly seeks is a woman who will help him achieve his full potential.
A woman can influence a man for better or worse. Men need the moral strength that women provide, the guidance to do what is right, and the power to say no, encouraging men to rise to virtue. Misusing your feminine and sexual power to merely arouse men devalues you in your own eyes and the eyes of men, turning you into an object for use. Alternatively, you can use your power to uplift men by insisting they become virtuous if they want your attention and love, thus proving themselves worthy of your value and upholding it.
A woman might fear saying "no" to a man, worried about being rejected and alone. Saint Maria Goretti upheld her chastity at the cost of her life. Are you willing to preserve your chastity even at the risk of loneliness? It’s a risk worth taking, but rest assured, you won’t be alone. If God intends for you to marry, He will provide the right man. Trust in God. The fear of being alone is a deceit from the devil. Trust that if you honor God and follow His will, He will guide you to your vocation.
Four
Maria has a message for men
Alessandro testified later in life that pornography led him down the path of ruin.
Pornography and sexual indulgence lead men to treat women as objects to be used and cast aside. Pornography also leads to physical violence. In every culture and every age, sexual sin leads to a taste for violence because the man is looking for stimulation, a rush. Sooner or later, he will become bored with sex alone and turn to violence for greater stimulation. The sexual decadence of the Roman empire led to the violence of the Colosseum and the martyrdom of Christians. The sexual revolution of our culture leads to more assaults on women, assaults on children through abortion, gun violence, and yes, sooner or later, the martyrdom of Christians.
Jesus said, “If a man looks at a woman lustfully, he has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Then immediately he said, “If your hand causes you to sin, you should cut it off. And if your eye causes you to sin, you should pluck it out.” After all, He says, graphically, it’s better to get into heaven missing a body part than have the whole of you get tossed down into the fires of Hell.
Sinful behavior and addiction are largely environmental. If you put folks in a certain environment, they’re almost certain to give in to their temptation. But if you remove them from that environment, the intensity of their temptations and their likelihood of giving into it goes way down. This is just what classic Catholic moral advice has always said: avoid near occasions of sin.
So, figure out what occasion you need to remove from your life. Turn your phone on greyscale and take whatever measures are necessary because if you sin through porn, you gotta remove the situation that leads to it otherwise it will take you down the road of ruin.
Five
Lust tends to grip men. Resentment often grips women.
Resentment is an emotion that is a mixture of disappointment, disgust, anger, and fear. We develop resentment when we’ve been hurt by others and then we hold on to the hurt and become enslaved to it in bitterness rather than being set free by forgiveness. If we don’t forgive, then bitterness and resentment become the dominant passion in our lives.
Resentment can lead a person to make their life force this idea, “I will become so strong that I will never again be hurt by a man who has failed me. I must become independent and never rely on another man nor even upon God – for He too has failed me.”
Women experience resentment when their fathers aren’t there for them, when men violate their dignity by objectifying and using them in relationships, or when they lose a child.
The story of St. Maria Goretti is as much a story of victory over resentment as it is over lust. Maria had no father to protect her. She prayed for, forgave, and converted the man who killed her. And her mother, Assunta, welcomed into her family the man who had taken her child.
How can we do what Maria did?
Think about the love of Jesus poured out for you on Calvary. Here is a man who will never let you down, a man who shows you your true value by His death on the Cross. Meditate on God the Father, with whom you are always safe. Yes, God the Father allowed Maria to be martyred but She would tell you He worked this for her greater good, that she was safe all the time in His providential care.
I am an imperfect Father but I would do anything for my daughters. How much more will the Most Perfect of All Fathers do for you?
This is the age of lust, resentment, and pornography. St Maria Goretti calls us all to renew our battle against lust and resentment.