Sisyphus
One
The Myth of Sisyphus
Do you know the ancient Greek myth of Sisyphus? Sisyphus was a wicked man whom the gods punished with a terrible, endless torment. Sisyphus’ punishment was that, for all eternity, he had to roll a boulder up to the top of the hill, and as soon as he reached the top it would roll back down, then he had to do it again.
That’s what the spiritual life can feel like. We go to confession, make a resolution to, “amend our lives,” make an effort to do better. And then the ball rolls back down the hill. We slip back into sin. We fall again. And we have to go through the whole process all over again, and then again, and then again.
It feels so pointless, so futile. And we’re tempted to think, “Why bother trying? I know I’m just going to fall again. Why even try to repent, why even try to do better? Why not let that boulder sit at the bottom of the hill, if that’s where it keeps ending up anyway?”
But, actually, as it turns out, the spiritual and moral life, isn’t the same as Sisyphus’ curse. The spiritual life is more like a garden. And a garden is something, unlike a boulder, that generates new life.
Two
Weeding the Garden of the Soul
Have you ever done any gardening? If so, then you know that a big part of gardening is weeding, getting rid of all the plants you don’t want in your plot. Now weeding is something you never finish. It’s just part of gardening. When you pull out all the weeds one day, you can bet your bottom dollar that before long, the weeds will be back, and you’ll have to pull them out again.
Just like Sisyphus, a gardener has to do the same, unpleasant thing, over and over again. But unlike Sisyphus, a gardener does the weeding in service of a greater good, the fruits and the flowers he hopes to reap from his garden. The same is true of the spiritual life. We go to confession, and the sin comes back, and we go to confession again. But in the meantime, the garden of our souls are bearing the fruits and flowers of holiness.
Three
Don’t Freak Out
Can you imagine a gardener who, every time he saw a new weed in his garden, freaked out? Who would walk out every morning and say, “Oh no, no, no, I can’t believe it, there are weeds here again! I just weeded this bed! I thought I was finally done with weeds! What am I doing wrong?! I’m the worst gardener ever! Dear God, why won’t you take these weeds away!!”
The gardener shouts all these things to the sky and then starts crying. That would be a really ridiculous response. It would show that this gardener didn’t actually know anything about gardening. But we’re being just as silly when we freak out about our habitual sins.
Of course our habitual sins come back. That’s why they’re called habitual sins. These are the vices that we’re going to have to constantly and vigilantly struggle against, probably for our whole lives.
Big deal. That’s what it means to garden in the garden of the soul. A real gardener doesn’t throw a hissy fit or have a meltdown every time the weeds come back. He just gets down on his hands and knees and pulls them out again.
And that’s all the Lord wants us to do with our sins. So get to it.
Four
Don’t Get Lazy – Keep Weeding the Garden
How do we weed the garden? By a daily examination of conscience.
For a few minutes at the end of the day or the beginning of the next day ask yourself, what did I think or say or do that was wrong or when did I fail to do what is right? Then ask yourself, why did I do that? What was at the root? Was it pride, vanity, envy, sloth, anger, greed, gluttony or lust?
If you want to get rid of the weed you have to take it out by the roots. Then go to confession. And continue daily meditation with a resolution. The resolution is what the Holy Spirit inspires you to work on each day based on your meditation.
Five
While you’re tending the weeds, God is bringing fruit and flowers to bear
Sisyphus’ punishment was a torment not just because his task was repetitive, but because it was pointless. The spiritual fight against sin is also repetitive, but it isn’t pointless. It may sometimes feel pointless to pull out the weeds of sin, see them grow back, and pull them out again. But that’s because we don’t see the invisible spiritual fruits that God is causing to grow in our souls.
God is at work, he is the master gardener, and one day the weeds will be gone, and we’ll be able to enjoy the fruits of his labor forever. We will rejoice that we didn’t get discouraged or complacent and give up, that we didn’t let the weeds choke the wheat. That our diligence allowed God to make us fruitful.
Suggested Resolutions:
Choose one resolution for today to help you grow closer to God, or create your own. Here are some ideas to inspire you.
The next time you fall into habitual sin, don’t waste time beating yourself up. Instead, jump right back into the pursuit of virtue.
Begin the practice of a daily examination, addressing the weeds in your life so that you can pull them out.
Confession is the best time to pull weeds and move on from sin, so if you find yourself getting caught up in what you’ve done, find a time to go to confession.