Recipe of Life
One
Ingredients for Happiness
This is the second episode in our series on happiness through the virtues. Everyone wants to be happy. Happiness is to possess the good things that fulfil our human nature. In general, God designed the human person to need certain good things to be happy: Physical goods like sleep, good nutrition, and exercise. Good relationships with family and friends. We all want to achieve something. So, we need meaningful work, some way to do good for others and good for the world. Knowledge. Beauty through nature, art, music, books, movies…Inner peace. And most importantly, a good relationship with God through the sacraments and prayer.
These are the basic ingredients for happiness. But it’s not enough to have the right ingredients; every good recipe gives you the right ingredients, in the right order and in the right proportion. The same is true for our lives. We need a recipe, a plan, a strategy to arrange our days so that we can get these seven good things we need to be happy. St. Benedict called it a rule of life. I like to call it a recipe of life.
Two
Recipe of Life
Let me suggest a daily recipe for happiness with the right ingredients, then you must put them in the right order and right proportion.
30 min/day in Meditative Prayer through the Rosary or reading and reflecting on the Word of God. We combine both in our Rosary Podcast.
Daily Mass, 1.5 hours
Sleep – 8 hours
Personal hygiene – 1 hour
Prep, eat, and clean up meals – 3 Hours
Exercise – 1 hour – like a good walk
Meaningful Work - Inside the home or out – 8 Hours
Time for Relationship with your family and friends by talking with them while we pursue the other goods, like talking over meals, or chores around the house or walking, or doing homework with kids, so this one takes no extra time.
Knowledge about God and the good world He created – 30 minutes to read or listen to something
Experience beauty in its many forms – 30 minutes
That’s 23 1/2 hours. If you combine some of these, like walking with a spouse or friend and praying the rosary, you can get all that in with time to spare.
Three
Order, Structure and Flexibility
These are the seven ingredients to a recipe for happiness. There needs to be an order to the way we pursue them. For example, we are not much good at anything without sleep or at least rest, so we go to bed on time and get up on time. Then the most important ingredient is a relationship with God, so receiving Him in the Eucharist and spending time in prayer is the priority. It should come first. As C.S. Lewis writes, “put first things first and we get the second things thrown in; put second things first, and we lose both first and second things.”
But the recipe must be flexible because life isn’t always predictable. Some days more work is required than others, on other days the kids or elderly parents need more attention. Some days, truth and beauty get a little less attention, and that’s okay. A rule keeps us grounded, but if the exceptions become the rule, our lives unravel.
Do good things together. Be good at creatively combining good things. Prepare a meal, eat, and talk with your spouse, family, or friends. Do a chore with a grandkid and talk while you do it. Take a walk outside with a friend, pray the Rosary, and talk. This gets you prayer, friendship, exercise, and beauty!
Four
Get Rid of the Junk
Cut out the wrong ingredients and you’ll have time for the right ones. When I share this recipe of life, people often object, “There’s no way I can fit all of this into my day.”
Start by tracking your time. For one week, write down how you spend your time in thirty-minute blocks. Then look at the results. You’ll likely find hours lost to scrolling, streaming, and distraction. Now ask yourself, “What needs to go?” Cut out the junk: unnecessary screentime, compulsive news-checking, endless entertainment, and phone addiction.
Say “No” to overcommitments. Tell people, “I’m sorry, I can barely take care of the things I am responsible for, so I can’t add more.” And here’s the good news: when you clear the clutter, space opens up. Space for prayer. For deep friendships, good books, and exercise. For beauty, laughter, nature, music, creativity, and restful meals. It makes space for happiness.
I totally understand if this feels too overwhelming to change everything at once. You don’t have to change everything. Pick one place to begin and change that. Start small. A good place to begin is to look at the way you spend the last ninety minutes of each day. Are we wasting time when we could go to bed earlier? Then we might have more time in the morning for prayer or exercise.
Five
Create Your Own
As a resolution, let me suggest that you create your own recipe of life. The transcript of this Rosary in point two has a helpful guide.
Then, if you live with someone, share it with them so that they understand what you are doing and so they don’t inadvertently work against you. They may even join you, and you can live this well-ordered and balanced life of happiness together!