I Feel Like I Am Not Praying Right

one

This morning, during my time alone with Jesus in prayer I had no profound thoughts or feelings. But I spent time with Him. So, was that a time of good prayer or bad prayer? One obstacle to prayer is to worry too much about whether we are doing it right or not. The fact is, as Teresa of Avila says, that mental prayer or meditation is nothing else than a close sharing between friends; it means taking time frequently to be alone with him who we know loves us. Teresa of Avila, The Book of Her Life, 8:5.

Not every time in prayer is going to be filled with captivating ideas and strong emotions. But prayer is friendship with God and friendship grows in depth by spending time together. Most of the time we spend with friends does not result in revolutionary ideas or with a strong movement of the emotions. Yet by the fact of spending time together we become better friends. Prayer is the same. If we spend time with Jesus every day in prayer, it doesn’t matter how well we think it went, because just by the very fact of intentionally spending time with God we grow closer to him.  Just persevere in time with him – that’s all we need to do.

two

Let me share with you and important principle of prayer from a book by Jacques Philippe entitled, Time for God. The first principle is simple but extremely important. What matters in mental prayer is not so much what we do, as what God does in us. It is enormously liberating to know this, for sometimes we can do nothing at all in mental prayer. Really, though, it doesn’t matter much, because even if we can’t do anything, God can. In fact, he is always acting in the depths of our soul, even if we don’t realize it. The essential act of prayer, after all, is to put oneself in God’s presence and stay there…the presence of God, is active, life-giving, healing, and sanctifying. One can’t stand in front of a fire without being warmed, or stay in the sun without being tanned, and in remaining in God’s presence and letting him act in the depths of our being, we are doing what really counts. If our prayer consists of nothing more than that—holding ourselves before God without doing anything or thinking of anything special, without any particular feelings, but with a heartfelt attitude of availability and trusting abandonment—then we could not do any better.

three

We are talking about mental prayer or meditation – but what is it? Well there are three main stages of prayer: Vocal prayer, talking to God; meditation, listening to Him; and Contemplation or Infused Prayer. This 3rd stage is called infused prayer because this is where God takes over and does the praying in us and for us. Now St. Teresa of Avila expands these three stages in more detail to seven, her seven interior castles; and the Church identifies nine stages. But the point is this – we should be progressing forward and not standing still. In truth, there is no standing still in the spiritual life since for we are either going forward or backward. We should move on from simply talking to God, asking him from things, to listening to Him in meditation, which is only the beginning of stage 2 of 9, and then long to go further. But if we do not commit to daily meditation and make a habit of it, we cannot progress. What prevents you from making a habit of daily meditation?

four

The CCC (2708) says meditation is prayerful reflection. Meditation is to turn your attention to God and to think about what He has said or done in order to understand it, to love God for it, and to form firm convictions that we will put into practice with the help of his grace. The two methods of meditation the CCC suggests are Lectio Divina, the prayerful reflection upon Scripture or spiritual books; or second, the Rosary. But regardless of the Method all Meditation includes 3 Simple Steps: 

Read or Listen to something from the Word of God which means something from the Bible, or a saint, or a good spiritual writer

Reflect or Think about what struck you

·       Try to Understand the passage; observe what is going on or being said and ask questions.

·       Then relate or apply it to your life

·       And draw conclusions that fit your life

·       Talk over all of this with Jesus in your mind and heart

Form a Resolution  

·       Choose something practical and concrete to remember or to do today based on your meditation

·       Write down your resolution and keep it with you

·       Put it into practice

five

St Francis De Sales explains the importance of a resolution: The most important thing of all is that you cling firmly to the resolutions you have taken in meditation so as to practice them carefully.  That is the great fruit of meditation, without which it is often not only useless but harmful.  Why so?  Because the virtues upon which we have meditated but not practiced sometimes puff us up so much in mind and heart that we think we are already what we are resolved to be which no doubt is the case if our resolutions are solid and ardent.  But when, on the contrary, they are not practiced, they are useless and dangerous.  (Introduction to the Devout Life, II Chap 8)

To change and become better people we need a deep friendship with Jesus and His grace which we drink in in mediation, but we also must practice living better lives. This is why the resolution flowing from our meditation is so important. As De Sales just said, what good is it to read and think about virtues and never practice them. If we don’t practice them, we won’t change. A resolution is to choose some good action that is practical and concrete to remember and put inCCCto practice today based on your meditation.

Examples of a resolution:

·       Today I will listen more than I speak

·       I will not gossip today

·       I complain too much,

o   today I will practice thanking God for everything

·       I am anxious

o   today I will replace that feeling of Anxiety

o   with an Act of Trust in God

What if I cannot find a resolution?

·       Then resolve to Remember your meditation all day long.

·       This remembrance will change the way you think

·       And the way you act

Post- script

Even though there are 9 stages, let’s figure out the next small step for you.

The first thing is the meditate through the Rosary because Mary asked us to pray the Rosary every day.

Keep adding days until you reach 7 days a week.

Add a resolution each day.

If you do this consistently – consider spending more time in friendship with Jesus by daily Mass, and or meditation on Scripture or some spiritual reading. A great habit is to start the day with meditation and or daily Mass and end the day with the Rosary with family and friends. Now your day is surrounded by prayer.

Rosary challenge