Guidelines to Good Decisions

one

Prudence is the virtue making good decisions. I gave you the three steps to prudence before: Deliberate - which means to gather all the relevant information and weigh your options fairly, that is without letting emotions dictate, then make a judgment or decision, and finally take action and follow through to the end.  That’s the three steps: Deliberate, make a choice, take action.  Today we meditate on five…Guidelines for Prudence.

So let’s begin in the name of…

The first guideline is don’t rethink a decision when you’re in the process of carrying it out. In general, you should take the time to deliberate but once you’ve made the choice, act quickly and don’t keep rethinking things.

Now, there are exceptions to that, there are times when you may need to reassess an action. When is that? Only when new and relevant information has surfaced. The fact that something is really hard, or I don’t really like it is not new or relevant information to consider. Why? Because that’s the experience of everyone who is starting out at something worthwhile - it is usually difficult and not pleasurable at first. But if you hang tough - it gets easier and more enjoyable. 

I’ve heard people say, “I didn’t expect law school or medical school or marriage or raising kids to be so difficult.” Well, where have you been? Everything worthwhile is difficult, especially at the beginning. And what does that have to do with anything anyway? You’re here now, so just do it and do it well. So, unless there’s some other new relevant information, put your hand to the plow and don’t look back. All deliberation after the commitment becomes a temptation, a temptation to imprudence and therefore to ultimately unhappiness.

two

Every decision involves uncertainty and the risk of failure. If you wait until you’ve perfectly proven the right thing to do, you’ll never do anything. Practical matters don’t have the same logical exactness or clarity as mathematical equations. Therefore, don’t wait until you have absolute certainty before choosing and acting. All you need to know to make a prudent decision is that a decision needs to be made, it needs to be made by you, and it needs to be made by you now. So

1.  Do your best to understand the situation,

2.  Make a decision

3.  Take action

4.  Abandonment the rest to God

a.  God works all things for good for those who trust Him

This sets you free to Act w/Confidence and Power

God says, “I got your back!”

three

Decisions and Actions should not be a reaction to strong emotions like anger, fear, lust, or despair

A prudent person will-whenever possible-avoid making a decision while he is angry. He will sleep on it, postpone it or put it aside until he can weigh things calmly and coolly.

So, for instance, if you’re really really angry, try not to make a decision. Don’t say anything when you’re angry, and for the love of God, don’t shoot off a text or email or post anything when you’re angry. Don’t make decisions, especially about what to say or what to write when you’re angry.

After anger, St. Thomas Aquinas says lust derails good decision making more than anything else. Lust makes a person blind to reality. Every guy knows you can’t think clearly when you’re filled with sexual temptations or desire. Lust prevents a person from thinking well. If you don’t think well it means you don’t judge well and that means you don’t make good decisions - so don’t make decisions, especially don’t make decisions that could have long term impacts in lust. Lust also applies to women but I have never understood how women think so you gals have to figure this one out on your own…

four

Discouragement

One of the strongest emotions we have is discouragement or some kind of despair, and then we’re tempted to make long term decisions. Woah, when you are discouraged you have a very distorted view of reality - you see the world through blue tinted glasses, right, everything’s blue. You’re not seeing reality as it actually is and that unrealistic assessment of yourself and the world around you will infect your actions. So don’t make decisions when you’re discouraged.

·       When we are close to despair, our perspective on reality will be skewed; will be overly pessimistic, and so the decisions we make will based on error.

·       Having suffered a failure, or fallen in sin, or having made a stupid move; all these things discourage us, and so we should avoid decisions during such times.

five

We all need a spiritual director or mentor or at least good spiritual friend – someone with whom we can talk about the important decisions in life. Proverbs 28:26 reminds us that “He who trusts his own mind is a fool.”

Francis De Sales

Do you want to advance confidently along the path of perfection and the love of God? Then seek someone who can direct you. This is the most important advice I can give you…Since it is so important…to find a good guide for this journey that you are undertaking, pray perseveringly that God will give you one after His own heart. Doubt not that God will give him to you, even if he has to send an angel from heaven.