Fraternal Correction

ONE

Like the 7 corporal works of mercy, there are 7 spiritual works of mercy

One of the most difficult of the spiritual works of mercy is that of admonishing the sinner. This is also referred to as fraternal correction. Our Lord gives us precise instructions in today’s gospel on how to carry out fraternal correction: “If your brother sins, go and point out his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won him over.”

Notice that Our Lord says, “point out the sin just between the two of you,” and not, “go and tell your friends and co-workers behind the person’s back.” Nor does He say, “then go and post it on Facebook or twitter.”

TWO

Correcting the sinner is a great act of charity, but it has to be done in the right way, with the right motivation. Nothing will destroy charity in our hearts and in the hearts of our listeners more than the sin of gossip. Listen to St. James in his letter chapter 3: “…the tongue is a little member and boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire…For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by men, but no human being can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”

Isn’t amazing just how challenging it is to correct the vices of the tongue. Let’s listen to Our Lord: “…out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks…I tell you, on the day of judgment men will render account for every careless word they utter; for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:34

THREE

Let’s give a quick definition of the sin of detraction: detraction is the sin of unjustly revealing the hidden faults of another (if it is untrue then the sin is calumny, even worse). Connected is the sin of tale-bearing, when you hear the juicy story from a detractor and go and tell the story to others. These sins are sins of defamation of character, which is a sin against justice. As St. Thomas says: “it is a serious matter to take away the good esteem of another, because amongst man’s earthly possessions nothing is more precious than his good name...” So through the sin of detraction, we sin against justice by robbing a man of his good name. Now there can of course be a reason to reveal someone’s hidden faults to another. For example you tell the person’s superior out of charity in order to help that person. But these cases are rarer than we think. In general it is better to keep silent.

Listen again to the wisdom of St. James: “be quick to hear but slow to speak.” Or proverbs 19: “When words are many, sin is not lacking.” Or St. Paul to the Thessalonians: “Live quietly, and mind your own business.” St. Theresa of Avila was especially emphatic on this point to her sisters. She said that people who are minding others’ affairs are not minding their own. Here is her advice to her sisters about how to carry on a conversation: “if in a chat no effort is being made to make the conversation a fruitful one, they should bring it to a quick conclusion.” We will be accountable for every word.

FOUR

When Saint Hugh governed the monastery of Cluny, one of his Religious, who had been careless in the observance of the rule of silence, having died, appeared to the holy Abbot to beg the assistance of his prayers. His mouth was filled with frightful ulcers, in punishment, he said, for idle words. “Oh, if you knew what I suffer! I am devoured by these flames, my tongue especially is dreadfully tormented.”

Hugh imposed seven days of silence upon his community. They were passed in recollection and prayer. Then the deceased reappeared, freed from his ulcers, his countenance radiant, and testifying his gratitude for the charitable help he had received from his brethren. If such is the chastisement of idle words, what will be that of words more culpable?

Now, back to fraternal correction, let’s listen to St. Alphonsus Liguori: “It is an act of charity to correct sinners…you are, as a Christian, obliged to fulfil the duty of fraternal correction…Would it not be great cruelty to see a blind man walking on the brink of a precipice, and not admonish him, in order to preserve him from this temporal danger? It would be far greater cruelty to neglect, for the sake of avoiding a little trouble, to deliver a brother from eternal death.”

However we must be very careful. So When are we strictly obliged to correct someone? For superiors it is an obligation out of justice.

Otherwise it is an act of charity for a brother, which only obliges us under certain conditions.

FIVE

Here are the criteria given by St. Anthony Mary Claret. When these conditions are met, we have an obligation to correct someone. Otherwise we are not responsible if we don’t make the correction.

1.  The person has externally committed a grave sin.

2.  We have moral certitude that the person has committed the sin, not just suspicion.

3.  The person has not yet amended his ways.

4.  There is a reasonable hope that the person will accept the correction.

5.  There is no other person there present who can make a fitting correction.

6.  That the occasion is proper, the time and place, etc.

What is the right time and place? Our Lord gives the answer: “If your brother sins, go and point out his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won him over.” Sit down with the person one on one and calmly and charitably share with them the correction.  What is the wrong way? For example a sudden outburst of anger. This is rarely helpful, and tends to be disproportionately harsh because of the passion of anger. There is also the passive-aggressive approach which deals with the issue indirectly. Like making a joke about a person’s defects in a group of others. And then there is the healthy, mature, and courageous way to do it, which is what Our Lord commands us to do.

St. Ambrose

“If you discover some defect in a friend, correct him privately (...) For corrections do more good and are more profitable than friendship that keeps silent. If the friend is offended, correct him just the same, firmly and without fear, even though the correction tastes bitter to him. It is written in the Book of Proverbs that wounds from a true friend are preferable to kisses from flatterers (Proverbs 27:6).”