Forgive Us Our Trespasses
One
The Unmerciful Servant
Jesus tells a number of parables with unhappy endings. But maybe the most disturbing ending of all is the parable of the unmerciful servant.
This is about a guy who owes the king an enormous amount of money. In fact, the only way he could even begin to pay it off was if all his property were auctioned off, and he and his family were sold into slavery. And it looks like that’s about to happen. But this servant begs the king for mercy and the King doesn’t just extend the deadline, or reduce the debt, he writes the entire thing off! Let’s the guy go, scot-free.
This servant, he just gets his life back. So he’s walking down the street, a free man, no debt, and he runs into a fellow servant who owes him just a little bit, a miniscule fraction of how much he owed the king. But he grabs this second servant by the throat, throttles him, and screams, “Give me my money right now!”
This second servant begs for a little time. He’ll pay him back, but he just needs a little slack, a little time to get it together. Not good enough, says the first servant. And he hands his fellow servant over to prison until he pays back what he owes.
Well, the King hears of this, and he summons the first servant before him.
Then he lets him have it. He says, “You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?” And he hands the unmerciful servant over to torturers until he pays the last penny of his gargantuan debt.
Then Jesus turns to his listeners, to us, and says, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Two
As We Forgive Those Who Trespass Against Us
Jesus makes it clear again and again that we will only be forgiven by God if we don’t hold any grudges against anyone else for anything they’ve done. In fact, He instructs us to pray, in the Our Father, “And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Do you understand what that means? It means we are asking God to use the same standard with us that we use for other people. If we are generous and forbearing with other people, we know that God will be generous and forbearing with us. But if we are harsh, resentful, and dismissive of those who have offended us, then we’re telling God to be harsh, resentful, and dismissive of us.
Peter Kreeft puts it very well when he says that every Our Father, we are asking God to send us to Hell if we don’t forgive everybody for everything. So are we taking that seriously?
Three
Think about your attitude, whether spoken or unspoken
Jesus says that the measure with which we measure will be the measure used on us. So one useful exercise is to think about the things you say about other people, whether out loud or to yourself, and ask yourself how it will feel when Jesus says that to you on the day of judgment.
Do you say, “I wish that person all the best, but I am done with them.” Or, “I’m sorry, he’s not my problem anymore.” Or “You know, it’s cool. I just want nothing more to do with her.”
Are you ready to hear that from God before the gates of Heaven? “I wish you all the best, but I’m done with you.” Or “I’m sorry, but you’re not my problem anymore.” Or “You know, it’s cool. I just want nothing more to do with you.”
Because if God says that to you, it means you’re going to hell for all eternity. He has promised to show us only the mercy that we have shown others. So be careful what kind of passive-aggressive phrases you use. Before you use it, make sure you’ll be comfortable hearing it from the mouth of God directed at yourself.
Four
An Attachment to a Disproportionate Truth and Justice
Why do we not forgive? Why do we have such a hard time forgiving? Why did that unmerciful servant throttle his fellow servant after having been given such a generous pass himself?
Probably the reason we most often give for not forgiving is we say that it’s a matter of truth and justice. The unmerciful servant would have said, as he had his hands about his neighbor’s neck, “This is about truth! And this is about justice! You have mistreated me, and it must be acknowledged, and it must be atoned for!” But the point is that the unmerciful servant was fixated on the wrong truth and the wrong justice. He should have been focused on a different, more relevant truth, and a different, more relevant justice.
Because the relevant truth is that we are all hideous sinners. We have done abominable things in the sight of God. The relevant justice is that God has been infinitely generous to us and that the only way we can pay him back is to be merciful to one another. If we really cared about truth and justice, we would care about the supreme truth and the supreme justice and we would be generous and forgiving.
Five
If You Are Offering Your Gift
Jesus says that if you’re offering your gift at God’s altar, and you remember that there’s bad blood between you and somebody else, then go make it right with that person. Then offer your gift to God.
So right now, while you’re praying Rosary, is there someone in the room you’ve been irritable toward? Is there someone in the room you’ve been short with, or passive-aggressive with? If so, right now, before we finish this last decade, stretch out your hand and shake that person’s. Or if it’s a spouse or a family member, grab their hand and squeeze it. If it’s someone who’s not in the room right now, then as soon as Rosary’s over, give them a call, or send them a friendly text, or invite them over for dinner, or to get coffee, within the next week.
Do whatever it takes to show God that you’re not holding anything against anybody. Then God has promised that He won’t hold anything against you.