Fear
One
When You Handle What You Thought You Couldn’t
Have you ever been in a situation where something you thought you couldn’t handle happened, but then you got through it and it wasn’t such a big deal after all? Maybe you had some kind of scary dental work, and then it turned out you were able to get through it fine. Maybe you had some sort of mix-up when you were switching wireless carriers, and you didn’t have access to your phone for a few days – and then it turned out it didn’t matter at all. You didn’t miss anything urgent, and it felt kind of freeing. We say, “I was surprised, it wasn’t as bad as I expected.”
That, right there, is one of the most empowering experiences of human life. Because in realizing we can handle a loss, or a bit of discomfort, we become free from fear. And that’s the experience the Church invites us to every Lent.
Two
Governed by Fear
Every sin has roots in fear, fear of losing something we value: success or reputation in our career, the health or happiness of loved ones, material security, comfort, or even simple pleasures.
Hebrews 2:14-15 teaches us that fear is what gives Satan power over us. Fear is what keeps us enslaved to Satan and sin. Fear compels us into selfishness, anxiety, and sin. But recognizing and confronting these fears directly weakens their grip on us. But with God we can overcome these fears, if we face those things we think we can’t handle or can’t live without.
Three
The desert: where you overcome your fear of loss
The desert is where Christ went, for forty days to do without the things people think they need. He went without noise, without indoor plumbing, without shelter, or a career, or an online presence, or impacting public policy or opinion. He went without a change of clothes, and without paper and pen, or a good book, or a streaming service. He went without food or news, He even went without entertainment.
And when Satan came to Him, Jesus had no fear. And Satan had no power over Him.
Every Lent we are supposed to go into the desert with Jesus to imitate Him. We are supposed to sacrifice the same things He did: food, drink, comfort, entertainment, company, lodging. And then we can be freed from fear and experience peace.
Four
You can do without anything and endure everything – you don’t need to be afraid. Try it!
Our fear is in proportion to how firmly we believe that we can’t handle something or live without something. We might be terrified of sickness. We might be terrified of loneliness. We might be terrified of poverty. We might be terrified of failure. We might be terrified of mice, or heights, or mayonnaise. And the more we desperately try to avoid what we’re afraid of, the more convinced we become that we can’t handle these things. And the more our fear grows. And the more we will do anything, including sin, to avoid the object of our fear.
But actually, the truth is, by God’s grace we can handle sickness, loneliness, and poverty. We can survive failure. And, of course, mice and heights and mayonnaise, by themselves, can’t hurt us at all.
How, what are the steps?
Identify specifically what you think you can’t handle or what you can’t live without. Then expose yourself to that fear or give up that thing you think you can’t live without in small doses while reminding yourself you are safe, it won’t kill you. Afterward, reflect on the fact that you got through it, nothing bad happened, you were safe the whole time.
Here’s a great example: St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, the Saint with the incredible visions of the Sacred Heart, despised cheese. Yes! Cheese! She just hated it. Her family had never made her eat it, and so her fear of it just grew and grew. But then she became a nun, and her religious superiors ordered her to eat cheese. It took her three days of intense struggle to submit. And after that, she apparently ate cheese every day, not because she liked it, but because she was no longer afraid of it.
So what do you think you can’t handle? What’s your biggest fear? And what kind of penance can you give yourself this Lent to show yourself that you are wrong and that you can handle it? So that Satan can’t threaten you with that fear anymore.
Five
Facing Death
As Hebrews chapter 2 says, we are kept in slavery to sin through fear of death. We fear death because we think it will be unpleasant. And we fear death because we’ll have to let go of worldly goods. But the Israelites went into the desert, and Jesus went into the desert, and we’re called to go into the desert of Lent, so that we can realize we don’t need to be afraid of unpleasant things. We don’t need to be afraid of letting go of worldly goods. It’s not that bad. We can totally handle it. And the more we realize that the more we won’t fear death.
That’s why the early monks all used to keep a skull in their cells. so they could face death, and see that, actually, it wasn’t that scary. After all, they’d seen that, by imitating Christ, they could handle discomfort and letting go.
So we start Lent with a reminder, on Ash Wednesday, to “remember death.” Not to scare us, but actually encourage us not to be afraid. And to find some practice, some mortification, that will free us from fear. Lent is our time to shake off our fear. So that every day, including the day of our death, can be met confidently and with gratitude.
Suggested Resolutions:
Choose one resolution for today to help you grow closer to God, or create your own. Here are some ideas to inspire you.
What are you most stressed about losing? Could you set it aside for a couple days in order to face that fear?
Meditate on death by placing an image of a skull in a visible place or on your phone’s screensaver in order to confront the fear of death.