Faith, Friendship and St. Francis
Rebuild My Church
Today is the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi. He was not a sissy? He wanted to be a warrior, a knight in battle, yes for his own glory, still he wanted to be a soldier. When he was a young man he had a dream that his home changed into a great palace filled with shields, armor, swords and banners – on all this war equipment glittered a red cross. As he wandered the halls a beautiful poorly-clad young woman appeared and clasped his hand tightly and said to him: “Francis, my beloved, all this is for you and for your companions. Take up your arms.” Francis misinterpreted the dream. The poorly clad young woman was Lady Poverty; the companions – Franciscans, not secular Knights, and the weapons well, God had other weapons in mind: prayer, penance and preaching. God does not give up on us in our miscues. Francis came to the broken-down church of St. Damian, barley more than rubble. He fell on his knees before the Crucifix and in the silence, Jesus spoke saying: “Rebuild my Church. It is falling down.” Again, Francis did not interpret the will of God perfectly, he began rebuilding the little stone chapel of St. Damian. It was a good start, but God had something much bigger in mind. Men began Francis and his way of life. When there were 12, they went to the Pope for his approval. The night before, the Pope had a strange dream. The Pope dreamt he saw the Church splitting apart, and when it was about to fall into pieces, a small man came up and put his shoulder against the building and with one shove he set the Church back on its foundations like new. When the Pope awoke, he knew the small man was Francis. He approved his way of life.
Through Friendship Learn Faith
The Church and the world today are in a difficult situation. There are 100 million people in America who were baptized Catholic. Only 15-20% go to Mass every Sunday. The largest and fastest growing group of people have no religious affiliation. For every person under 30 who enters the Catholic Church, 4-5 leave. Baby-boomers are gentrifying, the family is disintegrating, and marriages and baptisms are down by 50 % since 1971. US Surgeon General has declared loneliness and isolation a public health crisis. Roughly half of Americans suffer from this “disease” which I call “Friendship Deficit Syndrome” in which people have no one to share deeply with. Suicide is the number 2 killer of teens behind motor vehicle accidents. Drug overdose is #1 killer of Americans under 50; both a symptom of loneliness. The Surgeon General has not said anything new. He is echoing what God said in the beginning: “It is not good for man to be alone.” Jesus personally invested in the Apostles, then at the Last Supper he said, “I no longer call you servants but friends.” Salvation comes from faith. Faith comes through friendship. St. Francis of Assisi once told a brother who was struggling with doubts: “Do not be troubled brother, but through friendship learn faith.” THROUGH FRIENDSHIP LEARN FAITH.
Way of Life
St. Francis said, “through friendship learn faith.” Francis had a way of life that he invited people to live with him. We have a Way of Life that we invite people into. Our Way of life involves three things: Friendship, meaningful conversation and prayer.
The First Part of this way of life is Friendship – Friends share life together which means we must stop making a screen our focus. Make other people and God the focus of your attention.
Create a time and a place, and an atmosphere in which you do the things you like to do that does not involve a screen and invite others to do it with you.
· Have coffee, or a meal, or drinks or desert, go for a walk, play cards…whatever you like and have a good conversation while you are doing it.
Where you live create an atmosphere of hospitality, friendship and good conversation
· in your kitchen, living room, deck, garage, by the pool – wherever.
· Invite people into this space, offer them something to drink or eat
· Nobody cares if your house looks like Pintrest, in fact, if your home is too neat and clean it is not hospitable, it looks like no one lives there – the devil wants to stop you by this temptation
· Don’t freak out about putting out a big spread – just offer what you have in your fridge and pantry
Examples
Every night between 8:30 and 10:30 we gather in my living room for friendship, good conversation and the Rosary
Every night at 9 my son Xavier and the 4 guys he lives with at KU do the same
Jennie Punswick invites families to her house every Sunday after supper for 30 minutes to pray the Rosary and they end up talking in friendship after
Learn the Art of Meaningful Conversation
The Second Part of this way of life is to Learn the Art of Meaningful Conversation
Don’t begin by telling people stuff; it’s not your responsibility to fix people – that is God’s responsibility – not yours.
The first step is to Seek to know, understand, love and care for them
Validate their existence by being genuinely interested in their lives
Learn the art of asking good questions
· Ask them what they are listening to on podcast or the last good movie or book?
· Ask them what they liked about it and why
· Ask for their Opinion and Ideas
Give them independence and autonomy in thinking – don’t correct them immediately
· What is your opinion on this?
· Why do you think people think or do this or that?
· What do you think I should do here?
· What are your desires?
· What do you want most out of life?
· What are your fears and struggles?
Our world is dying for Friendship and Meaningful Conversation
Prayer and Routine
The third part of this way of life is prayer, and a good conversation with friends and prayer have the same ingredients
· Make time to get together
· Listen to what the friend has to say
· Reflect on what strikes you
· Talk it over with your friends
· Be open to change based on the conversation
I want to invite family and friends into a good conversation
Likewise, I want to invite family and friends into a good conversation with God in prayer
Make it your Routine to pray the Rosary Podcast every day
· Many people are bored with the Rosary because they see it as just saying words with nothing to captivate and engage their mind and emotions that leads to a change in life
· That’s why I provide 5 points to think about
· Reflect on what strikes you during the 5 decades of Hail Mary’s
· Be open to change based on the Conversation
· Make a resolution, then turn the Rosary meditation it into a conversation with those around you.
· Ask them what struck them and why and what they are going to do based on the conversation
For your family, there is the opportunity every night, or a few days a week
Then expand it by inviting others into your way of life
· Once a week invite friends, or other families to share life, good conversation and prayer on a Thursday night, a Sunday brunch or on a Sunday evening
But make it a consistent time and place,
· with some flexibility, build a habit and invite others into this way of life.
Example
· In the mid 90’s when my kids were very small I would begin each day praying the Rosary by myself. One day the Lord said to me clearly, ”Michael, if you pray the Rosary by yourself everyday, how will your wife and kids pray the Rosary? Change your schedule and invite them to pray it with you.”
· I changed, and since 1995 we have prayed the Rosary as family every night, no matter where we are or what we are doing.
· How I made the living room a place of friendship, good conversation and prayer
· Xavier now lives with 4 buddies at KU and every night at 9, they pray the Rosary together.