Even a Good Life Won’t Make You Happy

Invite others to pray with you this Lent. Share the Rosary and win a pilgrimage with School of Faith!

One

God designed us to have a desire for and seek after the good things in life: Good health, relationships, achievements, families and homes, and beautiful experiences. We are supposed to seek these and when we get them there should be a corresponding joy and happiness and gratitude.

Life is really good because God is really good and he is giving us a constant flow of good things. But what I always fail to remember and I what should never forget, is that no matter how good the good things of life are, they can never be enough. 

We were made for union with God. God alone satisfies.

So many of us think that if we are virtuous, if we are prudent, if we make good decisions, then we can essentially be satisfied in this life. We think we’ll get to the point where we say, “Yes – this is what I want. I’m happy with this. I’m at peace now.”

And it’s true that virtue and right living do lead to a more peaceful, contented life than the life of sin and vice and worldliness which is just one long nightmare of addiction, panic, and resentment. But we have to remember, this life is not our true homeland. Heaven with God is. 

When Our Lady came to Lourdes, the first time she revealed herself to St. Bernadette, she gave some instructions, and then, out of the blue, she suddenly said, “I do not promise you happiness in this life, but only in the next.” 

Two

Instability / Crisis

One of the reasons we can’t be perfectly content or at peace down here is because things are just too unstable. This life is constantly sending us new challenges we weren’t expecting and each challenge demands a new surge of effort, another straining of your mind and will as you pull them in unfamiliar territory.

There are new houses, new jobs, new responsibilities, all the time. Not to mention all the changes forced upon us as we age.

It never ends. You raise your kids and each kid is beautifully but exhaustingly different. Then, just as you get them all through school and out of the house, one of them asks to move back in with their new family, just for a little bit! And then your parents begin to decline…and it can all be a bit overwhelming.

Or maybe the problem is that nothing’s happening anymore. You looked forward to the kids being out of the house and being able to retire, and now you and your spouse have nothing in common, and there’s nothing really worthwhile that needs to be done anymore.

The point is that life is just one massive series of major changes. It’s true for priests and religious as much as for married people. These major changes keep life from getting boring, but they also keep life from ever, ever being really restful or peaceful or content because there’s always another major challenge you need to deal with. 

Because even a good life, a virtuous life, a blessed life, is not heaven.

Three

Evils of This Life

A lot of the challenges and crises that this life gives us are neutral, or even good. A new kid is always a great good, even if it’s a major challenge. But this life, even a good life, even a blessed life, is jam-packed with evils.

Just physically speaking, you, your spouse, your kids, your parents – there’s going to be broken bones and a flu that last forever and knee replacements and all kinds of dental work. There’s going to be weight problems and sleep problems and chronic pain. Your car’s going to break down and your house is going to break down and there are going to be big, big problems at the office. And there’s going to be fallings out, and fights with your spouse, and there’s going to be tensions in your friendships and there’s going to be kids who leave the faith, and who tell you they’re never going to talk to you again. There’s going to be kids who have all kinds of problems, who do drugs or drop out of school, or who get married and then they have a miscarriage, or they get a divorce. And it’s never going to not hurt.

There are going to be big problems in the Church and big problems in geo-politics, and you’re going to try not to worry or pay attention, but sometimes you’re going to wonder whether any of it can possibly be salvaged and whether the whole world is just going down the drain and how are you going to make it? And how are your kids? And how are their kids going to make it? 

And there are so many horrible stories in your life and in the lives of other people, and with some of them you just can’t imagine how they could possibly have a happy ending.

This kind of thing is never going away. Because even if you’re trying to live a good, Christian life, even if you are very blessed, this world is definitely never going to be Heaven.

Four

Distance from God

And the biggest thing that makes this life not satisfying, and not ultimately peaceful, is that we are so far away from the most important person in our lives. Yes, we know God loves us, He made us. Yes, we know Jesus is close to us in the Eucharist. Yes, we know the Holy Spirit is within us. But we can’t see any of it, and most of the time we can’t feel any of it.  

We know God loves us but we don’t see Him smile at us with affection, or tell us that He’s happy we’re alive. And Jesus in the Eucharist really doesn’t look like Himself. God feels so distant. It’s so hard to love Him. 

Even though we know He’s everything to us, even though we try to remember all He’s done for us, even though He constantly gives us every gift we have, both natural and supernatural. Even despite all that, He just doesn’t seem to be here. And that’s really hard for those who try to love the Lord.

Adam and Eve walked with the Lord but since sin came into the world, their children feel like they’re walking alone most of the time. And we’ll feel that way, most of the time, in this life. Because this life is not Heaven.

Five

This is Not the Place to Look for Happiness

This is not the time or the place to build your permanent happiness. Heaven is the place of rest, this life is the place of working in the Lord’s vineyard. So don’t expect to rest too much here.

Heaven is the place where we will see God. This life is the place where we have to be stretched so that we can handle that vision. So don’t expect not to be constantly stretched down here. 

Heaven is our home, this is the place of travel to the Promised Land. So, as St. John Henry Newman said, don’t try to get too comfortable here, any more than you’d try to get comfortable on a train that you know will be reaching its destination soon. 

This is a wonderful world full of beauty and love and goodness and consolation. But we’re not here to get settled. So let’s not expect real happiness or peace or contentment in this life, but only in the next.