Envy is
Envy is
A. Sorrow or sadness at another’s good
B. pleasure at another’s misfortune
1. Envy is sadness at someone else’s good.
a. You lament when something goes well for some other person
b. If the success or blessings of your friend, family member, neighbor, or even competitor displeases you, it is clear you suffer to some degree from envy;
2. Envy is Pleasure at someone else’s misfortune.
a. We celebrate when something bad happens to another person. Now, we don’t do this explicitly.
b. So how do you know when we’ve fallen into this? Well, we go around and tell everybody.
c. We say, “Oh its so awful, have you heard…”
d. If it is so awful, then why do we get this sinister pleasure out of spreading it?
e. We tear others down to raise ourselves up with an eagerness to spread the word of another’s downfall; that’s why we love dirty laundry.
Gore Vidal, the famous novelist said “Every time a friend succeeds, something in me dies.”
With envy, in order for me to gain someone must lose.
Envy is not the same as Jealousy
This may surprise you but the word Jealous comes from the word Zealous. We replaced the Z with a J over time. To be jealous is to be zealous.
Zeal is the desire or pain of longing for some good thing that I see another person has. But, opposite of envy, zeal does not want you to lose the good you have. Rather, zeal causes me to hunger for the good you have and do what it takes for me to have it as well. No one has to lose with zeal.
A great example comes from St. Augustine before his conversion. He is convinced Christianity is true but he’s not ready to give up his old life. Then he hears an account of a person who heroically embraces the Christian life and Augustine is overcome with extreme distress at hearing about this other person’s heroic faith. Why? Augustine longs for the faith that person has. He does not wish he had their faith and they did not. He longs for good they have, and he does not. That they both have faith. Seeing the good example of the other person makes Augustine desire the same good for himself. This is zeal and this is why the Church gives us the feast days of the saints so that we will desire and strive after a heroic life as they did.
Gossip is unjustly speaking ill of others
The best indicator for envy is gossip. So if you gossip, and most of us do, then you certainly suffer from envy. Especially if we gossip about people who are in the same line of work or similar situation. Our satisfaction comes from other people not doing well.
It can be a violation of justice even if what you are saying is true. If you are speaking truths without legitimate cause
Aquinas says this can be mortal sin – if done knowingly and willingly because it is a grave matter
Why? Because it is mortal sin to kill someone unjustly
One’s reputation is almost as valuable as their life – so to kill a person’s reputation is like committing murder.
St Francis de Sales in the Introduction to the Devout Life ch 29:
Slander or Gossip is a kind of murder, for we have three lives: the spiritual, which consists in the grace of God; the physical, which depend upon the soul; and the social, which consists in our good name. Sin deprives us of the first, death takes away the second, and slander robs us of the third.
The slanderer, by one blow of his tongue, commits three murders. He kills not only his own soul, and the soul of him that hears him, but also, by a spiritual murder, takes away the social life of the person slandered.
Gossip is a kind of terrorism because terrorism is indiscriminate – Gossip has such collateral damage that there is no way of knowing where it will end or who will be harmed.
Gossip comes from envy, but we can conquer envy and gossip with Goodwill.
C.S. Lewis wrote, God “wants to bring the man to a state of mind in which he could design the best cathedral in the world, and know it to be the best, and rejoice in the fact, without being any more (or less) or otherwise glad at having done it than he would be if it had been done by another.”
a. Want good for others: even competitors, even enemies
b. Think good of others: give them the benefit of the doubt, make excuses for them
c. Speak well of others: every person has the right to a good reputation
Along with Good will - Gratitude conquers envy.
Throughout the day, stop, appreciate and delight in the moment you are living; the good work you are doing, the person you are with, the meal you are eating, the sunset you are seeing. The more you see the good you have the less you will suffer from envy.