Disordered Attachments or Freedom
One
Today’s Gospel is chilling. The Jewish leaders—the authorities of God’s law who were supposed to be the ones governing Israel in preparation to receive its Messiah—decide to murder Jesus rather than love and follow Him. “…But one of them, Caiaphas, who was high priest that year, said to them, ‘You know nothing, nor do you consider that it is better for you that one man should die instead of the people, so that the whole nation may not perish.” (Jn 11:49-50.) How dangerous are our disordered attachments and vices, so dangerous in fact that we humans would rather see Jesus die and be rid of God’s pesky expectations than cease clinging to our selfish desires. Caiaphas and the Jewish leaders clung so tightly to their nation, their land, and their Temple they lost all their treasures, including their Savior. Rome destroyed Jerusalem, the Temple and all the inhabitants in 70 AD.
This is the paradox of sin. We think we gain by rebelling against God when actually we lose. The Gospel accounts are both a condemnation of the blind and murderous hypocrisy of the Pharisees and a stark challenge for us today—for you and me! Do I cling to my disordered attachments, my love of money, of pornography, of status, of my perfectionism, of my control, of my comforts, even when I’m given the convenient opportunity to let go of these idols to cling more firmly to God during Lent? Have I really put forth my best effort to rid myself of these attachments through self-denial? Jesus, as Holy Week approaches, give me the grace to forsake any and all things so that you may find in me a ready heart for your eternal dwelling place!
Two
I used to struggle with the reading of the Passion when I was growing up. Not because it was long and I had to stand (although that may have been part of it,) but because I had to give my voice to the crowds in the reading who shouted, “crucify him, we want Barabbas!” The Church offers these readings that way for a reason, however. Our voicing of the calls to crucify our Lord are meant to be a deep examination for all of us. Each and every time we sin, we are saying in some way, “God, I want to do what I want and feel good about it. You’re the one who says its wrong. I think it’s good so I’m going to do it anyway. You are now eliminated from this equation.” And so our choice is made. Selfishness and selflessness cannot coexist. I can’t serve both God and my selfish will. I must repent of thinking I can define for myself good and evil; that is God’s role alone, because what is good is of Him. What is bad attacks Him by attacking His law or denying His Divine Supremacy and Love. Repentance allows me to be conformed to His will. Our voicing the crowds during the reading of the Passion is a call to this repentance from our sinfulness. Conforming to His will is to conform to His cross. Am I really willing to pick up my cross and follow Him?
Three
This conformity to the cross and/or to the Will of God sounds too high a price to pay for discipleship though. How can I be free and follow Him? The fact is, only in following Him, only in obeying Him am I truly free. “For freedom’s sake Christ as set us free.” (Gal 5:1.) Thus, it is Jesus Christ who secures our freedom by releasing us from the bondage that sin creates. “Whoever sins is a slave to sin,” Jesus says (Jn 8:34.) By refusing to repent of our sins and disordered attachments we will eventually respond with Caiaphas, ‘It is better for one man to die than for me to be uncomfortable.’ Jesus tells us, on the contrary, that if we seek first the Kingdom of God, all else we will have besides. (cf. Mt 6:33.) Jesus calls our discipleship a cross only because He is calling us out of a life of sin and selfishness into a new life. We can’t begin to live this new life without dying to the old one. St. Paul puts it this way: if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the flesh you will live. (Rom 8: 13.) Lord, help me see that the crosses that you give me bring freedom and are power for new life. Show me what deeds of the flesh you wish me to be rid of.
Four
The cross is the struggle to rid ourselves of our attachments to our selfish desires. Our Lenten penances are not undertaken because sweets or snacking or alcohol is bad, but the attachment to them is. These attachments keep us from being able to soar with the eagles. St. John of the Cross uses the analogy of a falcon when talking about the spiritual life. Whether it is tethered with a thick leather strap or a mere piece of thread, it will not fly freely. The bonds must first be broken. So, too, in the interior life; we must break the bonds of sin. St. Jose Maria Escriva says that where there is struggle there is interior life. We need to truly put ourselves to the task of struggling against our faults and not make friends with them. This is what it means to pick up our cross. Sloth is a deadly sin not just because it creates laziness in our journey to heaven, but, even worse, causes us to reject the presence of God’s redeeming power over our vices and disorders that we like. We tell Him to just keep out, stay away, don’t take this from me, leave me alone with it! If we don’t overcome these dark but desirable sins, they will overcome us. This is why our Lord commands us to pick up our crosses and follow Him. (Mt 10:38.) He will help us bear the burden and we will be free!
Five
Jesus offers these comforting words when bearing our crosses: My yoke is easy, my burden is light. (Mt 11:30.) when we put ourselves to the task of truly carrying our crosses, of repenting from sins, of spending time with Him in prayer and sacrament, He will show us the joys of this simple way of life. He gives us the grace to accomplish this holy living, but asks for our response. Even still, you may protest, this life of holiness seems too hard for me. Let us turn to these wise words of St. Francis de Sales, who offers two beautiful pieces of advice to us: First he says we must not be disturbed at our imperfections, since for us perfection consists in fighting against them. (Introduction, Part 1, Chapter 5 p. 48.) then he says that we are guaranteed victory provided we don’t give up! These are very consoling pieces of advice. As we enter Holy Week, let us recommit ourselves to prayer, penance, and almsgiving so that we can be free and live in the Spirit.