Difficult People

ONE

I have often thought, if it wasn’t for other people I would never sin. This is not true, of course but the behavior of other people can be a source of anger, anxiety or fear. The question is - What is God’s perspective on these things and how should we respond?

Diary of St. Faustina 31:

“Once I saw a big crowd of people in our chapel, in front of the chapel and in the street, because there was no room for them inside. The chapel was decorated for a feast. There were a lot of clergy near the altar, and then our sisters and those of many other congregations. They were all waiting for the person who was to take a place on the altar. Suddenly I heard a voice saying that I was to take the place on the altar. But as soon as I left the corridor to go across the yard and enter the chapel, following the voice that was calling me, all the people began to throw at me whatever they had to hand: mud, stones, sand, brooms, to such an extent that I at first hesitated to go forward. But the voice kept on calling me even more earnestly, so I walked on bravely.

When I entered the chapel, the superiors, the sisters, the students, and even my parents started to hit me with whatever they could, and so whether I wanted to or not, I quickly took my place on the altar. As soon as I was there, the very same people, the students, the sisters, the superiors and my parents all began to hold their arms out to me asking for graces; and as for me, I did not bear any grudge against them for having thrown all sorts of things at me, and I was surprised that I felt a very special love precisely for those persons who had forced me to go more quickly to my appointed place.”

TWO

Jesus called Faustina to take her appointed place at the altar meaning he called her to become like Him, holy, a Saint.

One would expect the clergy, Faustina’s mother-superior, the other nuns, and her own parents to be the people who would be her greatest help and support. Instead, they were her cross.

It was those closest to her, who should have been her ally in the battle who acted as her enemy. They misdiagnosed her tuberculosis, saying there was nothing wrong with her but that she was just lazy. They gossiped behind her back. They disbelieved that Jesus was appearing to her and asking her to spread devotion to Divine Mercy.

The very people you would expect to help her in her mission did nothing but try to block, discourage, or destroy her. They betrayed her. Why would God allow this to happen?

THREE

The goal of our life is union with God by accepting, loving, and doing His will.

What prevents us from reaching our goal – union with God – is not other people – but our sin and vice – pride, rebellion, disobedience, anger, envy…on and on. What separates us from God is a lack of virtue, the highest of which is charity.

Well, how do we grow in virtue? How does a muscle grow? By lifting a heavy weight. God allowed Faustyna to lift heavy weights. She was misdiagnosed and called lazy so she could grow in humility, to be gossiped about so she could grow in forgiveness, to be disbelieved so that she could have greater trust in Him.

FOUR

How many enemies do you have? How many people misunderstand you? How many mistreat you? All the people who misunderstood and mistreated Faustyna were not her enemies. They were her greatest benefactors. Dealing with them caused Faustyna to rapidly advance in virtue. These so-called enemies were her greatest help to union with God. Without them she could not have reached her appointed place – to become a Saint.

Oh God, give me the grace to see that all those who seem to cause me the greatest harm, are my greatest help to my appointed place!

FIVE

When we experience difficulties from other people, rather than becoming filled with rage and anxiety, which takes us away from God and ruins our health, instead ask; “God, what do you want me to learn? How do you want me to respond? What virtue do you want me to practice?”

What other people do may be objectively wrong. And you may not like it. You don’t have to. To benefit, make the choice to respond with virtue and God will turn all things to your benefit.

Nothing can happen that God does not will or allow. If he allows difficult people in your life, it is for the transformation of your vice to virtue. You are safe in the hands of God. Trust Him and respond to him.

The CCC teaches us:

In time we can discover that God in his almighty providence can bring good from the consequences of an evil, even a moral evil, caused by his creatures; "It was not you", said Joseph to his brothers, "who sent me here, but God. . . You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be saved."

We were made for the struggles we’re facing right now. Without them we would not reach our appointed place.

Lord help me to love those who are difficult the way Faustyna did when she said: I was surprised that I felt a very special love precisely for those persons who had forced me to go more quickly to my appointed place.