Controlling Fear and Anxiety
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God gave us emotions or feelings
They are supposed to move us toward what is good for us and away from what is bad for us.
One of the most powerful feelings is fear.
Fear is good when it prompts us to get away from a real danger, like when a bear is chasing you, it is a signal to out-run your hiking partner.
Fear is bad when it takes control of us and prevents us from doing well in a job interview or on an exam, when it prevents us from living life to the fullest.
Too often fear takes control in our lives, and results in a paralyzing anxiety.
When we experience anxiety and panic, the first step is to identify the cause of the fear.
If you can remove the fear, then the anxiety will fade.
What are the things you worry about?
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The first source of fear comes from a misplaced identity – trying to find our identity and worth in in anything other than God.
It’s the mistaken idea that we have to create our value – that we must achieve something or appear some way to have worth.
And if we don’t achieve this or appear like that, then we are useless, invaluable and unlovable.
We cause ourselves all kinds of anxiety trying to create or prove our worth and live in fear of losing it. This is not true, it is not reality.
The truth of the matter is that your value comes from God!
He created you, hand-crafted in single batches, a one-of-a-kind masterpiece.
Then he put His divine life in you and made you his kid.
Then to save you from eternal loss, he was willing to suffer what was just described above.
Why would God go to such inconceivable lengths? Because you are worth it. He made you that way.
Your value has nothing to do with your gifts, achievements, performance, beauty, or moral goodness.
God gave it to you. Nothing can take it away
So, there is no reason to fear losing it.
Remove the fear and the anxiety fades.
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A second source of fear comes from thinking about things over which we have no control
What is the thing you are worried about? Can you control it?
So many of us are suffering from anxiety because we have lived our whole lives under the illusion of control. We think that if we have enough foresight, make the right preparations, take the right actions, control all the variables - we can protect ourselves and our loved ones from all danger and loss.
This is an illusion! There are infinite possible variables, threats and opportunities. Can you foresee and control them all? Of course not.
But this does not mean the world and our lives are out of control. God is in control. And God works all things for good for those who love him.
Stop thinking about what you have no control over.
God gave us feelings to prompt us to do things that are actually constructive. So when we deliberately, as in watching the news or social media, arouse fears over things we can’t do anything about – it is unhealthy. Aristotle said that only a lunatic worries about what he has no control over. Watching the news has made us crazy. It produces images that are scary and then we are scared. We are addicted to panic.
Exercise some discipline, watch and think about only the very small number of things you can do something about.
Let God take care of the rest.
Take away the fear and the anxiety will fade.
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A third source of fear comes from worrying about things that are not our responsibility – things over which we have no authority.
God has given each one of us a very limited scope of authority or responsibility: Our own behavior; our family and kids when they are young – for when they are adults they are no longer under our authority; our workplace; and voting.
Let’s be clear: you are not responsible for the world, the nation nor the Church.
We spend a lot of emotional energy worrying about things that are not our responsibility.
Are you responsible for or have the authority to do something about the thing you are angry or worried about?
If yes – then do something.
If no – stop thinking about them.
Things that are not our responsibility are God’s responsibility.
So, leave it to him.
Take away the fear and the anxiety will fade.
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A final cause of fear is procrastination or negligence.
When we put off some responsibility – anxiety sets in.
But here is where we do something really crazy – Instead of doing what we should, even if it is difficult or potentially painful, we distract ourselves in some way. And the distraction results in more anxiety because deep down we know we should be doing something else, so the anxiety mounts, causing a paralysis that prevents us from doing what we should and it becomes a vicious cycle of procrastination, distraction, anxiety back to procrastination.
It’s like encountering a real bear on a hike, but instead of doing what you should, you get out your phone and check in on Instagram - so you don’t have to think about the bear.
If there is something you know you need to do, but you just keep putting it off – it will cause anxiety.
Instead, Just get it done and you will feel a lot better.
Take away the fear and the anxiety will fade.