Controlling Fear and Anxiety
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Yesterday we reflected on using the intellect and will to get control of our feelings. One of the most powerful feelings is fear. Fear is good when it prompts us to get away from a real danger, like when a bear is chasing you, it is a signal to out-run our hiking partner. Fear is bad when it takes control of us and prevents us from doing well on an exam or a job interview, when it prevents us from living life to the fullest. Too often fear is out of control in our lives, and it results in a paralyzing anxiety.
When we experience fear, anxiety and panic, the first step is to identify the cause. What are the things I worry about?
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The First Source of Anxiety is spending too much time thinking about dangers and threats that do not apply to us.
Whether it is the news or social, everywhere we look we are told there is the imminent threat of grave danger: an active shooter in this or that city 100’s of mile from me; a volcano erupting in Alaska or Africa; the Russian and Ukranian military masses forces on their borders – heck I can’t even open up ESPN without the headline being something about Trump and the Spygate probe – are you kidding me – I was just tying to get the Hockey playoff scores… I am very sorry for the people these things actually affect. But they are not dangers that apply to me and they are certainly not my responsibility. But our brains cannot tell the difference. We feed them a constant diet of danger and doom and no wonder we begin to fee danger and doom, fear and anxiety. We are addicted to Panic Porn.
God gave us feelings to prompt us to do things that are actually constructive. So when we deliberately, as in watching the news or social media, arouse feelings that we cant do anything about – it is unhealthy. Aristotle said that only a lunatic worries about what he has no control over. Watching the news has made us crazy. It produces images that are scary and then we are scared.
The first source of anxiety is being anxious about a danger that does not apply to you. You should be afraid of a bear in front of you. You should not be afraid of a bear attack that took place in Alaska. Therefore, we need to ask: Does this threat apply to me? Is it within my scope of responsibility to take care of it? If the answer both is no. Then exercise your intellect to tell your feelings “There is no danger. You are safe.” And the fear will fade.
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The 2nd source of anxiety is to be afraid of dangers that are not real. This Fear could be called “Fictional evidence appearing real.” Sometimes we are anxious about threats that don’t really exist. It’s like a near sighted hiker freaking out because they thought they saw a bear in the distance but it was a bush waving in the wind. The biggest fictional fear is thinking we have to create our value – that we must achieve something or appear some way to have worth. This is false. So all the fear and anxiety, all the fiction evidence that appears real that if you don’t achieve this or if you don’t appear like that – then you will be useless, invaluable, unloved – that is all a lie.
But we cause ourselves all kinds of anxiety by trying to prove our worth. For a lot of folks the only thing between them and the bottomless void of worthlessness is the net woven of their own achievements. And those cords keep fraying and snapping, their achievements keep getting obsolete and wearing out, which means they must be constantly tending to that net, fixing up the old ropes and adding new ones. They have to make themselves matter, all the time. The most arrogant, self-promoting person you know is desperately trying to save his own existence from slipping into the dark night of irrelevance.
Do you see from where your value comes? It has nothing to do with your gifts, achievements, performance, beauty, or moral goodness. Your value comes from God! He created you, hand-crafted in single batches, a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. Then he put His divine life in you and made you his kid. Then to save you from eternal loss, he was willing to suffer what was just described above. Why would God go to such inconceivable lengths? Because you are worth it. He made you that way.
I don’t need to worry about losing my value. God gave it to me. Nothing can take it away except sin. So I guess sin is the only thing to really fear.
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A 3rd cause of anxiety is negligence.
When we put off some responsibility – anxiety sets in.
But here is where we do something really crazy – Instead of doing what we should, even if it is difficult or potentially painful, we distract ourselves in some way. And the distraction results in more anxiety because deep down we know we should be doing something else, so the anxiety mounts, causing a paralysis that prevents us from doing what we should and it becomes a vicious cycle of procrastination, distraction, anxiety back to procrastination. It’s like encountering a real bear on a hike, but instead of doing what you should, you get your phone out and check in on Instagram so you don’t have to think about the bear.
If there is something you know you need to do, but you just keep putting it off – it will cause anxiety. Just get it done and you will feel a lot better.
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When we experience fear or anxiety we must identify the source. If it is a real threat that I need to do something about – then respond – do what you can. If we are spending too much time thinking about dangers and threats that do not apply to us – then stop paying attention to them. If we are anxious about something that is not real - like the false idea that I must create my value – then meditate on the fact that God has given you your true value and nothing can take that away. If your anxiety is coming from some responsibility that you have put off - just do it – get it done. Finally, the ultimate task we’re all assigned to is pursuing our salvation and that of others. So don’t put that off - don’t feed the anxiety by wasting your brief time here and ignoring the supernatural. Instead, be a saint, and find the greatest peace there is on earth.