Control and Emptiness
ONE
I recently watched a docu-drama about a criminal underworld mastermind recounting his life story before he died. He tells his would-be biographer; “I decided long ago that life was a game, and I was going to live in such a way so as to be the one who controls it.” He thought that controlling his own life through his own will instead of God’s would produce greater fulfillment. The movie ends with the gangster, alone, broke, battling cancer, and weeping over a dying, crippled son he couldn’t cure or restore. The master-mind of the mob controlled nothing and ended up empty. This typifies our own modern age: we think life is a game that we can control without God. Only too late do we figure out that this leads to emptiness, and that the only game is the one we tell ourselves when we refuse to serve God.
In today’s Gospel, when Jesus tells Peter to send his boat out into the deep, Peter responds; “Lord, we have toiled all night and have caught nothing.” Peter fished the Sea of Galilee his entire life; he knew every shoal and sandbar. He trusted his knowledge, his skills and his efforts. In other words, Peter believed he was in control, but his nets were empty. But when he obeyed, his sense of self-control and therefore life, changed. He lowered his nets, and hauled in so many fish, his nets were tearing (cf. Lk 5: 1-11).
TWO
When Jesus commands, creation happens. At His word all things are made. We moderns can’t seem to accept this obvious fact, thinking instead that we make it happen; thinking that we have the power to control the game. CS Lewis would ask his students to group the following concepts into appropriate pairings: science, technology, magic, religion. He said most students would group science with technology, since these deal with subduing the world, and magic with religion, since these compensate for feeling powerless. As Lewis pointed out, science and religion go together as they seek understanding; and technology goes with magic as each gives the illusion we can subdue reality in accordance with our own wishes. Like St. Peter who questions Jesus’ request to let down the nets, we think God’s commands contradict reason and a proper understanding of reality, but this leaves us unable to discover God’s bounty. Our lack of confidence in God leaves our nets empty. And you, are your nets empty or full?
THREE
God speaks to us through reason, experience, and testimony. But He knows that the most important things He must reveal, because our sinfulness darkens our intellect. This is why He came. When He tells Peter to lower his nets for a new cast, He’s not limiting Peter’s freedom, turning him into his robot. Rather, he’s showing Peter how his efforts can achieve their greatest profit. He wants Peter to cooperate. He calls all of us to the same: to cooperate with Him. He doesn’t do it instead of us. But we must realize the outcome is His! He asks us to put in the effort, knowing that our effort alone won’t achieve the goal. For that, He applies His grace. But if we trust our pride instead of cooperating with grace, God can’t demonstrate His bountiful goodness because we don’t offer him our empty net.
FOUR
When Peter discovers God’s bountiful goodness despite his resistance to obey, he says, “depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man” (Lk 5:8). The reality of God’s goodness unveils the nature of sin. Thinking that we’re in control of the game of life leads us to falsely conclude that there is no God, and if no God, then no sin. If no sin, then no responsibility, just selfishness. Peter wanted the Lord to depart because he didn’t yet grasp Jesus’ mercy. Our situation is more dangerous; we can’t grasp mercy because we don’t think we need it. Without mercy and obeying God’s commands, we are left empty, we fail to recognize God’s abundance, and worse, are trapped in lonely, selfish isolation, just like the mobster, discovering only too late that we never controlled anything at all. God’s mercy heals, perfects, and elevates us so that our actions become divine. Now we are in control: self-control, through grace and virtue.
FIVE
Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching men!” (Lk 5: 10). The profitable discovery of obeying the Lord leads Peter and the other future apostles to leave everything to come and follow Jesus. What are you willing to leave to cooperate with His word? Today, fast from one thing you think you can’t live without: snacking, alcohol, internet, judging others, etc. to follow Jesus more closely and so ask Him to fill your net.