Contraception
one
To understand the teaching of Jesus on Contraception we must recall that sexual love is meant to be the body language that expresses Divine Love
The love of God is a free and total gift of self. That gift results in a permanent union of the divine persons, from which another divine person springs forth.
In marital relations we are saying with our bodies: I am giving a free and total gift of myself to you. I am giving a permanent indissoluble gift of self, and this gift is ordered to new life.
To say anything less or different with our bodies in the act of intercourse is a lie, and it is not love. It is use, because it would not reflect the love of God.
To have sex is to say with your body: I am giving a free and total gift of myself to you. I am giving a permanent indissoluble gift of self, and this gift is ordered to new life.
But if we don’t mean that and yet we say it, then it is a lie.
two
The Definition of Contraception
Contraception is an intentionally sterilized act of intercourse that changes the action so that it is:
Not a total gift of self, because fertility is held back. It’s not unitive because it is an act of use. A diminished gift results in diminished union. And it’s not ordered to life
Therefore, contracepted sex is a lie because we are saying one thing with our body yet we mean something else.
Contracepted sex does not image the Love of God. It is not love. It is Use.
Are we saying couples who use contraception don’t love each other? They may love each other in many authentic ways. But, an act of contracepted sex is not an act of authentic love. It is not a reflection of the love of the Trinity
Love is not arbitrary. Love is not whatever we want it to be. Love is not merely an intense feeling or the sharing of pleasure. Love is to live according to the image of God in which we’re made.
Love is to give ourselves away freely, totally, faithfully, and fruitfully in imitation of Christ.
three
So what the heck is a couple supposed to do, have 12 kids?
When I speak, I must speak the truth. I should never lie. But I do not always have to speak. Sometimes it’s better to remain silent.
Is refusing to speak and lying the same action? No. They are different actions completely! Contracepted Sex is always lying.
Abstinence, refraining from sex, is refusing to speak. It is to remain silent.
Contracepted Sex is an evil action: Abstinence is a good action.
There are legitimate, good reasons to postpone pregnancy or even not to have another baby at all. There are good reasons tied to age, or physical, mental, or emotional health or the needs of the immediate or extended family.
If a couple had a just reason to postpone children, or not to have another baby at all, what could they do?
Every time a couple chooses to have sex they must speak the truth with their body, that is, be faithful to the God given meaning of sex. However, couples aren’t always obligated to have sex.
There are lots of occasions when a couple might want to have sex but have good reason not to. Perhaps one or the other spouse is sick. Perhaps the wife just gave birth. Perhaps the couple is staying at one of the in-laws and there are thin walls. Perhaps they have a good reason not to have another baby. These are all good reasons not to have sex, even if they may want to.
If a couple had a just reason not to have another baby,
and if they were firm in their resolve to speak the truth with their bodies, the only thing they could do would be to exercise their freedom and self-control and abstain from sex.
four
Are you saying a couple who needs to avoid pregnancy would have to abstain from sex until menopause?
First of all, three things determine if an choice is good or evil
1. Act – what are you doing
2. Intention – why are you doing it
3. Circumstances
As we said before, sex within marriage is a good action and contracepted sex is an evil action. It is a lie. It is use, not love.
God designed women so that they are not always fertile. The majority of the time, she is infertile. She is only fertile for a specific window of days per month. If a couple chose not to have sex on a fertile day, did they commit an evil action? No, choosing not to have sex is not an evil action.
If a couple chose to have sex on a non-fertile day, did they commit an evil action? No.
The act of intercourse is a total gift of self, ordered to new life. They haven’t changed anything in the action. The intention is to express their love. The Circumstances have changed, but the circumstances are not evil. If pregnancy did not result, would it be because they sterilized the act? Or would it be because God chose not to bring a new life into the world as evidenced by the way he designed the wife’s body?
This is the very principle of natural family planning (NFP)
Couples who have been properly trained in modern methods of NFP can determine the fertile time of the wife’s cycle with 99% accuracy.
If they have a good reason to avoid pregnancy, they choose to abstain from intercourse during the fertile time. They remain silent. During the infertile phase of the cycle, they can choose to have intercourse without violating the God-given meaning of sex. They can speak the truth with their bodies. The fact that pregnancy doesn’t result from these acts of intercourse is a result of God’s design of the woman, rather than the result of sterilizing the act of intercourse.
The Act of intercourse is still ordered to new life
Their Intention is still to express their love
The Circumstances have changed but are not bad
five
Don’t couples using NFP and those using Contraception have the same goal, to avoid pregnancy?
Yes, They may have the same goal to avoid pregnancy for good reasons, but the action by which they achieve their common goal is very different…Abstinence is a good action and contracepted sex is always an evil action. These are different actions altogether. A good end never justifies doing an evil action.
Here’s an example: Two students have the goal of good grades. One studies and the other cheats. Both have the same goal, to get good grades. But studying is a good means and cheating is an evil means.
Contraception is always an evil action and a good end never justifies an evil means.
Again, there are three parts to a moral action.
1. Action
2. Intention
3. Circumstances