Being at Peace in the Mess

One

The Meal

Once there was a meal at a house in Bethany. A family had decided to have Jesus over for dinner.

It was Lazarus, whom Jesus had raised from the dead, and his sisters Mary and Martha.

The problem was that Martha was clearly a type-A hostess and Mary was just sitting there, spending time with the Lord.

Martha went to Jesus to complain. “Tell my sister to help me with the hospitality,” she said.

But instead of reprimanding Mary, Jesus reprimanded her: “Martha, Martha, you are anxious about many things. Only one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the better part, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Two

The Painting

There’s a painting by the brilliant contemporary artist, Giovanni Gasparro.

The title is “A Meal at Bethany.”

All the painting shows is a small table set for four.

At three of the place settings, everything is a mess. The plates are dirty The glasses are smudged and still filled with remnants of wine. The used utensils are all lying askew. The napkins are crumpled up. But at one place setting, everything is perfect. Orderly. Symmetrical. Clean. The plates and cups and utensils are pristine and in just their proper places.

That place setting was Martha’s setting. It’s nice and neat and tidy because Martha hasn’t been there. She missed the meal.

She missed her chance to sit and spend time with her family and her God.

Three

Physical Tidiness vs. Hospitality

It’s a constant temptation to put order and tidiness and “staying on top of things” ahead of the people in our life – just like it was for Martha

We try to get ahead of the mess – and we miss out on what matters more.

For instance:

How many of us refuse to extend hospitality to our family and friends – because when we have people over, we so exhaust ourselves cleaning up before and after that, it just isn’t worth it? 

How many of us come home from work, and instead of showing joy at seeing our spouse and kids, we just look at the mess in the yard or the kitchen or living room or bedrooms?

How many of us, when we actually have the chance to be at home on weekends, put yardwork or home renovations ahead of spending time with our families?

The American Puritans used to say, “Cleanliness is next to godliness.” 

It isn’t. Love is next to godliness. Generosity is next to godliness. Delighting in the people in your life is next to godliness.

So ask yourself: does putting order into your environment actually get in the way of being present to the people in your life – and allowing them to be present to you?

If so, pray to the sister-saints Martha and Mary to help you be at peace in the mess, so that you can be there for the people who need you to be with them.

Four

To-do List vs. Prayer

Martha had many, many things she felt needed to be done. 

She had a long to-do list

And notice this: it wasn’t that she was doing bad things. In fact, she was serving the Lord Himself!

But the primary service the Lord wants from us is time spent with Him. The primary act of love the Lord wants from us is prayer. 

So does your to-do list prevent you from praying?

Do you forget that of all the things you can do for Jesus, “only one is necessary,” and that prayer is “the better part”?

If your to-do list, your personal or professional agenda, makes you feel as though you don’t have time to pray: 

then pray to the saint-sisters Mary and Mary to help you ensure that at the very top of your to-do list, every day, is to sit and talk with the God who loves you. 

Five

At Peace in the Mess

Go back to that picture of the table, with the three messy place-settings, and the one clean one – Martha’s perfectly tidy witness to her missed opportunity.

A wise priest once said, “God will only be able to really use you when you are able to be at peace in the midst of mess.”

If we’re constantly driven to get organized, stay on top of things, get stuff done

If we can’t get out of that flurry of activity, how can God reach us, direct us, form us?

And if God can’t reach us, how can He guide us to where we need to be?

If we aren’t able to be quiet, or still, how can we be responsive to his prompting? 

How can we hear Him say, “You have to drop this project,  and go be with this person?”

God grant us the grace to let go of our idols of tidiness, and to-do lists – and be with Him and with the people He has put in our lives.

St. Martha, St. Mary – help us never to miss an opportunity to enjoy the better part of this life, which is the part we will enjoy forever in Heaven with you.