Becoming a Better Person
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One
St. Teresa of Avila is one of the greatest mystics in the history of the Church
Her supernatural experiences are absolutely astounding. Visions of Jesus, direct conversations with him, levitations, out-of-body experiences. She describes these experiences in her autobiography. When you read the story of her ecstasies and revelations, you can’t help but marvel at her greatness. And yet, when you look carefully at her autobiography and her other spiritual writings, Teresa is very clear: Growth or progress in the spiritual life is not measured by mystical experiences.
It is measured by growth in moral goodness. It is measured by our conversion from the vices of Pride, vanity, envy, sloth, anger, greed, gluttony, and lust to the virtues that enable us to love God and love the people around us.
Two
Teresa describes moral and spiritual growth as going deeper and deeper into an interior mansion of the soul
We enter the First Mansion when we begin to say vocal prayers, talking to God but not really listening.
That is very good because most people never begin. But you have no idea what a mess you are. And we are being eaten alive by our vices and we don’t realize it. But at least we are beginning to pray. If you persevere in prayer you will make progress even though, right now you are almost lost.
We enter the second mansion when we commit to Daily Mental Prayer
Then you begin to realize the trouble you have with vice and sin. Still, you haven’t made the changes that you need to make. But you are starting to see more clearly. Like when the sun breaks through a window and reveals all the dirt and dog hair everywhere. You realize, “I’ve got to change everything…” But you’re not yet resolved to remove the near occasions of sin.
We reach the Third Mansion when we become way more disciplined in these ways:
A more disciplined life of mental prayer and a resolution.
Rigorously avoiding the near occasions of sin
Voluntarily denying ourselves of good things in little ways to curb our addictions
Accepting the trials and sufferings that come our way as the remedy from God to purify and strengthen our soul.
But we must keep hammering away at these until God takes over the work in contemplation
Fourth Mansion
This is the beginning of Contemplation, where God begins to take over and do the work of our prayer and our continued conversion and growth in moral goodness.
Fifth Mansion
The experience of God and its corresponding delight causes us to forget about and lose our infatuation with worldly things.
That’s why the lizards and serpents can’t even get in the door. That’s why it is called the Prayer of Quiet, because your worldly desires are becoming quiet.
Sixth Mansion
We are freed from earthly delights but the danger here is becoming attached to spiritual delights or consolations. So, God must purify us from all attachment to spiritual delights and consolations through the Dark Night of the Spirit.
In the Seveth Mansion, we reach transforming union with God
This is the point that, as our prayer deepens, we become a better person, more virtuous, and as we become more virtuous, our prayer deepens. Prayer and moral goodness affect each other for the good, it’s a virtuous cycle.
Three
According to Terese of Avila the greatest measure of growth is Humility
She says that humility is the Queen of the Chessboard, the best piece we have for capturing the Divine King of Heaven Himself (Way of Perfection, 169).
So how do you advance in humility? It’s very simple: Remember that God is God and you are not.
Humility is just living in reality.
First, I am not God. I have gifts, but not all the gifts. I have opportunities and a responsibility to do good, but I’m not responsible for everything. I can’t control all situations or other people. I have limitations. Therefore, I need God and I need others.
Second, my identity and self-worth are not based on any profession or achievement, it’s not founded upon any relationship or personal attribute. My identity and self-worth come from God because He has made me his son or daughter sharing in His divine life. Therefore, I don’t care about what other people think of me, only what God my Father thinks of me. This allows us not to care one bit about what other people think. Worrying about your reputation kills humility, and so kills moral progress.
Teresa says worrying about your reputation, what other people think of you, is holding you back. She says, “Why ae they not at the summit of perfection? What is wrong? What can be holding back men who are doing so much for God? Oh, just a little care for reputation!... I will repeat once more that however small our concern for reputation… on this road of perfection it is a pestilence.” (Autobiography, ch. 31).
So if you want to grow in holiness, grow in humility. Which means, above all, remember how much you need God and don’t worry about your reputation.
Four
Love of God and Love of Neighbor
Having humility, of course, is what allows us to love God and neighbor more than ourselves. And this is the goal.
Teresa says, “Let us realize… that true perfection consists in the love of God and of our neighbor, and the more nearly perfect is our observance of these two commandments, the nearer to perfection we shall be” (Interior Castle, 1st, ch. 2).
Our best gauge for whether we love God is whether we love our neighbor, “The surest sign that we are keeping these two commandments is, I think, that we should really be loving our neighbor; for we cannot be sure if we are loving God, although we may have good reasons for believing that we are, but we can know quite well if we are loving our neighbor” (Interior Castle, 5th, ch. 3).
But how do we know if we love our neighbor? Well, primarily, through forgiveness.
Teresa points out that this is why the one form of love of neighbor mentioned in the Lord’s Prayer is, “As we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Teresa marvels at how much God must value our forgiveness, “Jesus could have put other virtues first and said: forgive us, Lord, because we do a great deal of penance or because we pray much and fast or because we have left all for you and love you very much…. But he said only ‘forgive us because we forgive.” (Way of Perfection, ch. 36).
She says that forgiveness brings more growth in holiness than years of penance. So if you want to advance spiritually, one of the first things to look for is, have you truly forgiven everyone in your life? For everything? If not, don’t think you’re going to make much progress in holiness.
Five
If Growth in Virtue is the measure, then why pray?
I said above, as our prayer deepens, we become a better person; and as we become better people, our prayer deepens – prayer and virtue affect each other creating a virtuous cycle.
Think about it. When we do daily meditation, like we are in this Rosary, we read or hear the life and teachings of Jesus. We let it confront us, convict us. Then we make small concrete resolutions to practice each day.
Daily mental prayer and a resolution joined to receiving Jesus often in the Eucharist and allowing Him to heal and strengthen us in Confession once a month is the infallible means for continual growth in moral goodness.
If you do these, you will grow in virtue and holiness. If you don’t, you will grow worse, not better, because unchecked vice is guaranteed to make us vicious. It’s that simple.